Writing

Things To Never Ask A Writer

So it’s the last day of my March break and I figured I would save my favourite and longest post for last. I haven’t heard any of the below (the bolded questions) in quite some time plus I would like to keep it that way. Thus, I wrote this post for everyone I will encounter on my return back to high school. Here’s some extra homework from one writer to a non-writer. Never utter any of these phrases to a serious writer. At least, not to my face. Okay? Study, learn, and memorize accordingly. Thank you in advance.

Can you stop using big words?

In case you didn’t get the memo, writers love words. Otherwise, why else would we expose ourselves to words every day? If writers won the lottery every time this “using big words” debate came up, writers would be richer and wealthier than any other profession known to mankind. The entire universe should bow down to writers now. After all, writers are planning to take over the world with their intellect. Of course, our arsenal of words will come in handy. Who are you to stop us?

Why are you staring/glaring at him/her/it?

Uh…it’s simple and completely explainable. Just give us a fraction of a second for us to tell you why. Writers need to research. And observing constitutes as research. Observing well translates into realistic description. And if writers weren’t realistic, books would not be read. Books would not exist if no one read them. Therefore, do us all a favour and the next time you catch a writer looking at someone or something, get out of their way. Pretend for 5 minutes that you are a writer. I know that’s difficult. Being a writer is no easy task. But if you think like a writer, you are less likely to annoy them. You might end up appearing in the next best-seller or if you’re lucky (and helpful) enough, your name could appear in the acknowledgement section of a novel. Hey, you might know a soon-to-be famous writer. Do your best to be understanding, would ya? It won’t kill you and the writers of this world will appreciate ya.

Want to go watch a movie? 

If we like you enough, we might agree and smile politely when you ask. If, in our heads, we can create a list of one hundred and one things we rather be doing than watching a movie with you, we’ll decline and smile awkwardly. Or we’ll throw in the “maybe, next time?” to save you from any hurt feelings. Perhaps, we value the friendship enough to make it up to you somehow. Still, we may just want some space. If you’ve just met your writer friend, use your common sense. If you’ve known a writer long enough, you should know books beat movies any day. However, if you truly know the writer species, you know what to say and when to say it. Keep the movie invites to a limit, especially when said writer is trying to meet countless deadlines. Otherwise, you’re impeding on the writer’s goal of publishing something—anything. Movie invite after the novel is released? Sign me up. Movie offer during the novel creation and formation? Uh…unless I’m desperate for a break from my baby, no, thank you.

That concludes this post. If you have read this far, I am truly grateful. If you haven’t, spare me the truth and don’t tell me. Please.

One other thing, don’t ever ask me to use smaller words, to glance in the other direction, and/or to see a film over seeing the finish of my story.

Keep this in mind:

A happier writer makes for a happier world.

I didn’t intend for this to be such a long ramble. Sorry. I’m almost done.

If you haven’t already, go read my post on 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Writer. Heh, a writer-blogger has to do some self-promotion from time to time. Besides, clicking that link costs you nothing financially and nets me an additional view. What a win-win situation for everyone. It will also let me know what types of posts my readers like or don’t like. Although, most writers (myself included) write for themselves, I still want to create posts that my followers will enjoy reading.

Have a great day or night, depending on where you are in the world and when you happen to be reading this post.

4 thoughts on “Things To Never Ask A Writer

  1. I can relate to two of these posts. I love movies. Like a lot. I know so much about them. And my sister is kind of a screen writer. Maybe these are things not to ask a poet or novelist?

    p.s. I am a novelist and I realize my great love of movies probably places me in the minority here xD

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