My Essay Writing Process

1. Freak out.
2. Freak out some more.
3. Start to brainstorm.
4. Generate many ideas.
5. Hate most ideas.
6. Pick the best worst idea.
7. Shrug once.
8. Scrap said idea for a better one.
9. Try to outline.
10. Fail to outline.
11. Attempt to write a first draft.
12. Edit first draft before it’s written.
13. Write enough words to meet the word count.
14. Delete unnecessary words.
15. Squint at word count.
16. Write more words.
17. Realize there are too many words.
18. Kill my darlings.
19. Submit the poorly written essay.
20. Celebrate by crying.