It’s just not worth it anymore.
I’ve dedicated a great deal of time over the past year doing what was asked, never complaining, at least now outwardly. I never put up a fight or negotiated for anything. I simply accepted anything that came my way. The good, the bad, the ugly. I’ve learned so much and came such a far way. I’m beyond grateful.
But my time here has come to an end.
I can say that without flinching. I can look someone in the eye and tell them that as if it were just a fact. Like I was talking about the weather.
I’ve given myself a few days to calm down. To make sure I’m not being irrational.
So here goes nothing and everything.
I’m not sorry.
I’ve imagined how it’ll play out in real life.
“Come in,” he would call out.
I would walk inside and stand rather than sit down in a seat I’ve been in many times before.
Of course he’d be his happy-go-lucky self and wouldn’t notice anything’s wrong. But everything is.
“I wanted to tell you something…out of courtesy.” No one is ever that eloquent when they speak, are they?
He will laugh. Or maybe he’ll smile.
I realize I don’t know how to say what I want to say. But I know the longer this drags on, the worse I’ll feel. So when will I face what I need to confront? I’m hoping sooner rather than later.