The imposter syndrome is the bane of my existence.
Some days, that voice in my head tells me I’m not good enough. It says I’m an imposter. As if, at any point, someone will rip off the mask I’m wearing and see right through me.
I feel as though some people already see through my act. And they’re too kind to say anything about it.
I’ve been writing for a long time, and I’ve written a lot of words in my life. I strive to write every day and I do.
I’m still afraid. I’m so scared. I don’t want to wonder whether or not I’m wasting my time.
Through hard work, I can improve and get better. Talent will only get you so far, after all.
One reason why the imposter syndrome has hit me especially hard as of late is my grades. My GPA.
I don’t obsess over school as much as I used to. Thankfully. My sanity is grateful. But I care a lot about doing well.
Growing up, academia was the one thing I excelled at. As a kid, I was anything but athletically gifted or artistic. But I loved reading. I learned to write well.
I’m still doing just fine in university. My standards are set way too high for my own good sometimes.
It should be enough that I’m doing my best, but imposter syndrome is rearing its ugly head again.
Very easy to slip into, especially in something like writing, where we’re in a state of flux from thinking ourselves brilliant to why even bother.
Anything reliant on feedback is susceptible to this.
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So true. I feel like I had very high highs and very low lows in the past. All because of something someone would say.
Mhm. Writing, blogging, etc.
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You are having a confidence crisis. I can’t think of anyone who has more to be confident about than you–both as a writer, a poet, and probably a student. Keep your head high, girlfriend, you’ve got a lot going for you!
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Aw, I am. Wow. That means so much. Thank you. I appreciate it. Hope your semester is going well.
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If it got any better, I’d be convinced I had died and was in heaven! LOL
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Aha, I’m happy to hear that. Good luck with everything!
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It is so good this semester–the best group I’ve had in all 30 years at the university–that I decided to stop teaching there after this semester. Leave them happy, I always say. My boss told me should I ever want to continue, there would be a place for me. However, I have taken on two volunteering gigs, and there are a couple of projects I really want to follow through on. I think I have put them off long enough.
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That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. Aw. Best of luck with volunteering as well as your projects. I’d love to hear all about them. 🙂
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