Personal Reflection · Writing

My Biggest Fear In Life

My biggest fear in life isn’t failure. It’s not trying.

I somehow convince myself that I’m not good enough. As a result, I don’t try sometimes.

It’s 2019, and I’m still just as hard on myself, if not even harder.

I have to try. I have to try my best.

I know I don’t handle failure well though. I’m working on it. I wish I could easily embrace mistakes.

I’m aware that by not trying, in a way I avoid failing. Still, I fail in a different way. I fail if I don’t try.

This year, I want to take risks I haven’t before. If I don’t try, I’ll never know. If I don’t ask, the answer will always be no.

When I was younger, I was more fearless, less afraid. Back then, I felt like I had less to lose. But I don’t have much to lose now either.

Ideally, I’d publish a book before I have kids. Now that I’ve put my intention out into the world, I hope to follow through. The first step is trying to tell the best story I can. I’ve given myself a somewhat flexible due date. Without a timeline of some kind, I could spend my whole life writing novels but never publishing them. At this point, I just need to start somewhere. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, starting is the hardest part.

13 thoughts on “My Biggest Fear In Life

  1. We are all good enough that is true.

    Also you have to learn to let yourself feel good enough… if you don’t you’ll get stuck in a rut and no one will be able to pull you out – our biggest critic is always ourselves. You must find a way to silence your inner critic, before it takes a hold of you. I think you are amazing. I always read your posts, I love them. You are honest and friendly in your posts and I know you’d be that way in real life – I’d love to meet you one day.., and maybe one day we will meet, you never know… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Publishing a book is a good aim… Before you have kids? – me too! Buuut, I have to get a move on as I’m older than you haha. To be honest though someone I trust and admire once told me some good advice: she said “only write for yourself. Always. Don’t ever get hung up on being published because for many fantastically talented and brilliant writers it will never happen. And that’s ok.” – The lady who gave me this advice worked as a publisher for her whole career. She wasn’t telling me this to kill my dream. She was telling me so that I knew the harsh reality of it. She said so long as you have written what you want to write then you’ve got your dream right there in front of you already in black and white, no one can take that away from you. Who cares if no one sees it but you, your family, and your friends? Who cares ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mhm exactly.

      You have a point. I agree. We judge ourselves so harshly. Wow, thank you. I appreciate that. I hope we get to meet one day.

      Haha in a perfect world, yes. Good luck! Great advice though. Many things are out of our control in regards to publishing. What we can control is writing. True true. Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes I hope so too ๐Ÿ™‚ I will let you know if I’m ever in your country and you must let me know if you happen to be over here at any point – England is tiny so no matter where abouts you are, I’ll be able to get to you without much trouble if you’re in the UK ๐Ÿ™‚

        Thanks, and good luck to you too. I’ll let you know of course if I ever get the novel I’m working on (or any subsequent novels) published. And even if I don’t I’ll let you know how my writing journey pans out ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel like other bloggers here on WordPress are taking this journey with me and feel supported by others here. It is lovely to know that I can talk to people like you and that even though we are strangers I feel we share lots already.

        Happy writing and we’ll speak soon ๐Ÿ™‚

        Like

      2. Will do. I want to go to England. Hopefully I get the chance to travel there one day. Sounds good! I look forward to it.

        Thank you. Thatโ€™s great. I wish you all the best with everything. I agree. I feel like I have so much in common with other bloggers.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I hope too that you get the chance to travel there… I’m sure you’ll love it, there’s a lot to see and many places to go in England ๐Ÿ™‚
        I hope you have a lovely week. Speak soon

        Like

  2. Your commenter has given you good advice, let me add some more a teacher once told me, You haven’t failed until you quit (give up). Keep going, keep writing, put that writing out there to every place/publisher/venue/contest you can and don’t quit.

    Liked by 1 person

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