Personal Reflection · Writing

My Biggest Fear In Life

My biggest fear in life isn’t failure. It’s not trying.

I somehow convince myself that I’m not good enough. As a result, I don’t try sometimes.

It’s 2019, and I’m still just as hard on myself, if not even harder.

I have to try. I have to try my best.

I know I don’t handle failure well though. I’m working on it. I wish I could easily embrace mistakes.

I’m aware that by not trying, in a way I avoid failing. Still, I fail in a different way. I fail if I don’t try.

This year, I want to take risks I haven’t before. If I don’t try, I’ll never know. If I don’t ask, the answer will always be no.

When I was younger, I was more fearless, less afraid. Back then, I felt like I had less to lose. But I don’t have much to lose now either.

Ideally, I’d publish a book before I have kids. Now that I’ve put my intention out into the world, I hope to follow through. The first step is trying to tell the best story I can. I’ve given myself a somewhat flexible due date. Without a timeline of some kind, I could spend my whole life writing novels but never publishing them. At this point, I just need to start somewhere. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, starting is the hardest part.


4 thoughts on “My Biggest Fear In Life

  1. We are all good enough that is true.

    Also you have to learn to let yourself feel good enough… if you don’t you’ll get stuck in a rut and no one will be able to pull you out – our biggest critic is always ourselves. You must find a way to silence your inner critic, before it takes a hold of you. I think you are amazing. I always read your posts, I love them. You are honest and friendly in your posts and I know you’d be that way in real life – I’d love to meet you one day.., and maybe one day we will meet, you never know… 🙂

    Publishing a book is a good aim… Before you have kids? – me too! Buuut, I have to get a move on as I’m older than you haha. To be honest though someone I trust and admire once told me some good advice: she said “only write for yourself. Always. Don’t ever get hung up on being published because for many fantastically talented and brilliant writers it will never happen. And that’s ok.” – The lady who gave me this advice worked as a publisher for her whole career. She wasn’t telling me this to kill my dream. She was telling me so that I knew the harsh reality of it. She said so long as you have written what you want to write then you’ve got your dream right there in front of you already in black and white, no one can take that away from you. Who cares if no one sees it but you, your family, and your friends? Who cares 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mhm exactly.

      You have a point. I agree. We judge ourselves so harshly. Wow, thank you. I appreciate that. I hope we get to meet one day.

      Haha in a perfect world, yes. Good luck! Great advice though. Many things are out of our control in regards to publishing. What we can control is writing. True true. Thanks for sharing!


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