Personal Reflection

Choosing The Right Career Path For Me

I don’t know what I’m doing. Then again, who does?

Somehow I graduate next year. I don’t feel ready, but at the same time, I can’t wait to get out of university and into the real world.

I’ve had four years to find myself. I still need more time to figure out who I am.

Obviously, I want to have an open mind. But I’d love to be able to work with words. After all, I enjoy reading, writing, blogging.

I tell myself if I want to stand a chance at any career, I have to be my best self. I also feel like I’ll have to work harder than most to get my foot in the door. Regardless, I will choose and pursue the right career path for myself, not anyone else.

In my opinion, what’s on your mind all the time says a lot about who you are, what you want.

I’m a writer. I want to write.

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Personal Reflection

On Gaining And Losing Trust

I have trust issues.

If a person can’t keep their word, I find it hard to put my faith in them. So it’s hard for people to gain my trust but easy to lose it.

I get it. People make mistakes. We’re human after all. But I’m awful at forgiving others. For my own sake, I should.

I hate when people lie to my face or make a promise and break it. Then again, I’m a hypocrite. I wouldn’t want anyone to betray or backstab me, especially someone I trust.

As I get older, the circle of individuals I trust gets smaller and smaller. Which is fine with me honestly. It saves a lot of time.

I’m not an easy person to impress. I can’t even impress myself. It’s a blessing and a curse, let me tell you. I also get disappointed easily because I hold high expectations. Some days, I hold myself to a standard that drives me insane.

We can’t pick family, but at least we can pick friends.

I love fictional characters because they’ll never not be there for you. Maybe one day I’ll find a real human being I trust completely.

In short, I trust like two people.

Personal Reflection

Taking Some Time To Reflect

I want to take some time to reflect on this year. It wasn’t always easy. I had bad days. But I’m in a better place now.

I’m content. I’ve been fortunate enough to do what I love. I fought and still fight to protect my time.

I’ve experienced a lot of things I didn’t think I would. Some good, some bad. Some downright awful. But I’m still standing.

I went from going through the worst to the best period of my life. And I owe a lot of that to a very special person. Make no mistake, I’ll still single. But a complete stranger changed my life for the better.

Little by little, my perspective has expanded and evolved. I’m not perfect, but I don’t need to be. I’ve done so much, and I am ready to do more.

Even though I’m grateful for all the big events, I’m equally thankful for all the small tasks. I’ve been able to get back a lot of what I lost. There’s still a lot for me to live for.

I’m alive. I feel alive. My smile has reached my eyes, not just once or twice but countless times.

That said, recovery is a long road. In some ways, I’m still recovering. That’s okay. I’ve been able to share this journey with some incredible individuals. So thank you.

Personal Reflection

There Are So Many Things I Want To Do

Sometimes, I wish I could do everything, but that’s not possible. I only have 24 hours.

I used to be so stubborn about sticking to several daily habits.

Every now and then, some things have to give. I can’t do it all or do everything well. I’ve become more accepting of that fact nowadays.

I want to do many things and do them for a certain length of time or until I reach a specific goal. For example, I try to dance for one hour and read about 50 pages every day.

Nevertheless, I try not to let my current habits stop me from pursuing other opportunities.

I’m content with what I’ve done, yet I’ll continue to do more.

Life is a journey. My growth is ongoing, not a one-time event. So rather than beating myself up over a habit I didn’t do, I will appreciate all the things I did.

I journal before bed, and I’ve been tracking what I accomplish. That way, I can look back on a record of how I spend my time. Which is eye-opening to say the least.

I feel like human beings aren’t always the best at time management for a number of reasons. Tracking what I do and how long it takes me to complete a task has paid dividends. I now have a better understanding of when I should start an activity and when I can finish it.

Of course, I’m not perfect. Some days are good, others are bad. But knowing how I work allows me to plan ahead and account for worst-case scenarios.

Personal Reflection

How Practicing Mindfulness Helped Me During My Recovery

Being mindful made me listen to my body.

In high school, I had a yoga teacher who made the class meditate every day. In retrospect, I’m grateful for that experience.

Even though I don’t meditate all the time, I do try to be mindful. Especially when my body is in pain.

Nowadays, I stretch often because that’s when I’m able to be more mindful. I become aware of my breathing as well as how I’m feeling.

I struggle with the non-judgemental side of meditating. What can I say? I’m a judgemental person. But honestly, judging others doesn’t make me happier. If anything, I prefer minding my own business. Which is why I try to.

In my experience, I suck at reserving judgment. I’m trying to be more mindful of that.

I’m a fan of mindfulness meditation. It doesn’t solve every problem under the sun, but the practice helped me during a difficult time. I felt more in touch with my body, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

I also put aside my own judgement long enough to cry a lot of tears. While I know crying isn’t going to fix anything, I tend to feel better after.

I need to express my emotions somehow, regardless of whether they are positive or negative.

Meditation is personal in many ways, and that’s okay. The practice differs from person to person. One form of meditation might not work for you but maybe another will.

At the very least, being aware of how you’re doing isn’t a bad thing.

Personal Reflection

Getting Back Into A Routine

With family in town, some of my daily habits went out the window for a few days. I’m trying to get back into a routine sooner rather than later.

I miss having entire days at home to do whatever I please. I miss reading, writing, blogging, and dancing.

My body’s internal clock has been thrown out of whack as well. I’ve had to adjust, adapt.

I’m looking forward to catching up. More like I look forward to being caught up.

I have a lot of ground to cover. Still, I wouldn’t change a thing. I have no regrets. I can’t remember the last time I dropped expectations of getting work done and allowed myself to just have fun.

I feel thankful that I have the freedom to live such a flexible lifestyle.

Even though I do the same few things almost every single day, no day is exactly the same.

I can’t predict the future. I don’t know what tomorrow has in store. Let’s just say I’m always excited for new adventures.

Even the simplest activities can be a blast with the right company.

I need to live my life. After all, many stories are born out of new experiences. That said, I’m ready to return to my old routines.

Going forward, I will try to push myself. Instead of stopping out of laziness, I’ll challenge myself to go a little further.

Personal Reflection

21 Things I Want To Change About Myself At 21 Years Old

  1. Procrastinating too much.
  2. Holding grudges.
  3. Making assumptions.
  4. Playing it safe.
  5. Stressing myself out.
  6. Overthinking things.
  7. Analyzing too much.
  8. Letting fear hold me back.
  9. Judging other people.
  10. Criticizing someone I hardly know.
  11. Being lazy and lethargic.
  12. Eating more than I should.
  13. Dividing my attention.
  14. Getting easily distracted.
  15. Abandoning creative projects.
  16. Forgetting what my friends tell me.
  17. Taking myself too seriously.
  18. Holding onto the past.
  19. Underestimating my abilities.
  20. Buying stuff I don’t need.
  21. Making small things a big deal.
Personal Reflection

On Self-Esteem And Confidence

Some days, I feel I’m not good enough. I don’t give myself enough credit.

But I know what I’m good at, and I know what I’m not good at. That being said, I don’t know much. All I know is I want to write, need to.

I want to get better, do better. It’s tough though. I feel like no matter how hard I work, I’ll never be good. I’ll never do enough.

Being a writer is the best thing that ever happened to me. But some days it’s the hardest thing in the world.

I can’t not write. I can’t bear untold stories inside me. I don’t even care if they don’t see the light of day. It doesn’t matter whether people read my words or not. What matters is I write them, one by one.

I try to refrain from tearing myself down when I write. So writing helps boost my self-esteem. The school system doesn’t do wonders for anyone’s confidence.

I hate that I let grades affect me so much. One good grade doesn’t make me focus less on all the bad ones.

I’m also way too hard on myself. It’s not even because I’m a perfectionist. I just expect perfection in my results. Which is problematic. But that’s who I am.