Personal Reflection · School

A Terrifying Transition

One of these days I’ll stop talking about my 20th birthday. Today isn’t one of those days.

To be honest, I feel good about where I am right now. Better than I have in a long time.

A while ago, I was talking to one of my high school teachers. Somehow my birthday in August came up. He made a point that stuck with me. I wish I remember his words exactly. Something like my having a birthday during an anxious, stressful time of the year. I couldn’t have agreed more.

I used to feel horrible in the mornings right before school. It’s not that I hated school inherently. But the thought of having to deal with people sent my heart pumping even faster than exercise.

My special day is and I suspect always will be a transitional time for me even after I graduate from university in two years. Yes, I’m assuming I’ll graduate. Allow me.

The memories I have of my childhood mornings are not fun or easy. I realize I can’t change the fact that I used to dread going back to school. But a part of me thinks it’s messed up that I and many other students feel anxious or afraid.

There’s a difference between not liking something and being terrified of it.

I felt terrible for so many reasons. My overactive imagination deserves a medal or trophy. More often than not, I scared myself because I thought of horrible situations. Most never came to pass.

When I think about school now, I’m not as worried or nervous. I’m not too afraid or scared. I am excited.

I’m looking forward to the rest of this upcoming academic year because I know that regardless of what happens, the sky won’t fall on my head. The ground isn’t going to open beneath my feet and swallow me whole.

I’ll be fine. The world won’t end. And if the sun will rise every day, so can I.

Personal Reflection

Reflecting On Being 19 Years Old And Turning 20

Nine year old me wanted to be an interior designer.

Nineteen year old me wants to be a professional writer.

Funny how much can change in ten years.

Over the course of my life, especially in the last decade or so, I've discovered new passions and dreamt different dreams.

I never thought I'd be where I am today. I'm beyond grateful. I feel lucky in many ways. But I also know better than anyone how hard I've worked.

I wanted to take some time to reflect on the last nineteen going on twenty years. You're all going to be sick and tired of my old age jokes and indirect references to my birthday. Maybe you already are. I'd say sorry, but I'm not.

I had a less than ideal August in 2016 to say the least. It was a tougher time for me mentally and emotionally. So I was nowhere near where I wanted to be. And I was nothing close to being who I wanted to be.

Even though I still have a long way to go, I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish during my 19th year on this earth.

I won't bore you with the details regarding my achievements. But I want to thank you all for helping me directly or indirectly, whether you know it or not.

I don't thank everyone often enough. Thanks a million times. Thank you so much for being you. I appreciate your support. It means the world to me.

You have inspired me in ways I never would've been. I will never stop reading your comments, messages, tweets, etc.

Around this time last year, I had no idea what to expect in 2017. I didn't know what the future held for me, for this blog.

Another year looms ahead. I can't predict what will happen next, but I'm excited for what's coming.

I like to believe the best is just around the corner.

I'm sure I'll make my share of mistakes in the next 12 months. Please feel free to correct me and my erroneous ways. Shove my mistakes in my face. I'm half kidding, half serious.

But I've grown up a ton. I can handle failure and mistakes better now than ever before.

I want to wish you the very best.

Cheers to growing together. I know there's so much we can learn from each other.

I never want to take any of this for granted.

After all, I had my share of highs and lows as a 19 year old.

But right now I'm grateful. Thank you again from the bottom of my dark heart and the depths of my big head.

You made my 19th that much more memorable.

It's been an incredible year. Here's to an even better one.

Hopefully, twenty year old me will be way smarter. A girl can hope.

Reading

Belated Birthday Book Haul

This is a belated birthday book haul because I wanted to treat myself but also can’t be bothered to manage my time well.

And since no one bought me a book for my birthday, I figured I’d take matters into my own hands.

Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Maas

Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. MaasRed Rising by Pierce BrownRed Rising by Pierce Brown

The Raven Boys by Maggie StiefvaterThe Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

Affiliate links and bad pictures galore.

Creative Writing

Happy Birthday Poem To A Blogger (With Rhyme)

It’s someone’s birthday today! And this someone happens to be one of the best bloggers ever.

Happy Birthday

I want to be the first to greet you this way

To write you a rhyming poem on your special day

May all your dreams come true

May you turn the page and start anew

*

Your blog is the very best

You should probably get some rest

This year is yours for the taking

Those stories are yours for the making

*

Thank you for being you

Here’s to all you’ve been through

I hope you enjoy what’s to come

While marching to the beat of your own drum

Harry Potter Movies and Birthday Candle

Happy birthday, Rachel! Sorry for this cringe-worthy post.

Here are a ton of other birthday poems I’ve written:

Happy Birthday Poem (For Her With Rhyme)

Happy Birthday Poem (For Him With Rhyme)

Happy Birthday Poem (For Cousin With Rhyme)

Happy Birthday Poem (For Mother With Rhyme)

Happy Birthday Poem With Rhyme (For Fan/Friend/Family)

Happy Birthday Poem (To All With Rhyme)

Happy Birthday Poem For Her (To A Friend With Rhyme)

(I won’t do this again next year. Promise.)

Reading

I Want To Buy More Books

Despite having ablut a dozen on my shelves that I have yet to read.

Send help. 

It’s not my fault my birthday is coming up, and I’m planning to treat myself to a couple of new books. OK maybe more than a couple. Several? 

Join me. 

I don’t intend to leave my house in the next month or two. 

Don’t worry. 

Writing

Write Even When…

  • you’re sick.
  • you’re tired.
  • it’s Christmas.
  • it’s your birthday.
  • you have two jobs.
  • you go to school full-time.
  • everyone else is relaxing.
  • everyone else is on holiday.
  • you don’t want to.
  • you aren’t inspired.
Reading

All I Want

Now more than ever I want books for my birthday.

And Christmas.

Actually, it’s more like every day of every year.

Books are all I want, but I never seem to get books as presents.

Why must the world be so cruel and deny me of the only thing I need in life?

Personal Reflection

August 2015: What I Love Birthday Edition

So I finally get to explain why my “What I Love” posts are on the 22nd of every month.

Cue drumroll please.

No? Okay.

My birthday is August 22, 1997.

I figured it’s fitting to devote a monthly post in honour of something or someone I love. At the very least, it’ll make me more appreciative of all that I have.

Because I’m turning 18 today and I’ll already be a year older by the time this post is up, I’m making a list of 22 concepts/people/things I love. In no particular order, of course.

  1. Speaking of lists, I love them.
  2. The number 22 for obvious reasons.
  3. August. I’m lucky I don’t have to go to school on my birthday.
  4. Simple Plan. I need to see them play live.
  5. School supplies and stationery. I’m cheating, I know.
  6. Shopping. Um, uh…let’s move on.
  7. Good food. I adore eating.
  8. Great music. How does anyone hate it?
  9. Red. It’s my favourite colour.
  10. Challenges. Bring them on.
  11. Teachers and mentors. I am indebted to them.
  12. My family for supporting me and stroking my ego.
  13. My friends for making me cry tears of laughter and joy.
  14. My enemies for telling me lies that I will never allow to be true.
  15. Pens for composing my stories.
  16. Notebooks for carrying my words.
  17. Dancing. And all things associated with it like dancers or dance shoes.
  18. Blogging. Again, anything related to blogging as well. Other blogs. Beautiful bloggers.
  19. Writing. Creating characters gives me life.
  20. Reading. Books were my first love.
  21. Myself. Because self-love is important.
  22. You! I don’t say this enough though I ought to; I love you.