Take Care Of Yourself

When I’m not feeling well, I’m torn between doing nothing so I can rest or doing everything in hopes I’ll get better because I’ve been productive.

A part of me knows I’m allowed take a day off from writing or blogging. But another part wants to persevere. The latter wins out more often than not.

I compromised. I didn’t force myself to go above and beyond. Even though I didn’t want to do too much, I did a little. I’ll take it. Some progress is better than none.

My head hurt. It was especially painful to be inverted. So while dancing I tried to keep upright as much as possible. Although I hate feeling ill, I like rebounding from a bad day or three. Knowing I took it easy even out of necessity motivates me to try harder when I’m feeling better.

Unless I’m beyond saving, I won’t nap during the day. I don’t know why. I think my body doesn’t know how to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon. I could feel awful, and I’d still be awake.

I shouldn’t be hard on myself. I am human after all. Obviously, I would’ve liked to do more. But why work myself until I burn out?

I’m reminded of baseball. It’s easier and better to give athletes a day off even when they don’t need one. It’s worse to push professional athletes to the point where they get injured, only letting them rest too little too late. They’ll take longer to recover from an injury then.

Better to give someone a break before they break something.

I never know if my analogies or examples make sense to anyone not named Herminia Chow. But if you need a sign to take a break and relax a bit, here it is.

Do what you can to prevent yourself from getting injured or ill. Prevention beats cure any day of the year.

Control the things you can. And deal with what you can’t. Always be kind to yourself because if you aren’t, who will be?

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Writing, Editing, And Watching Baseball

I love writing. But editing is not nearly as fun as baseballing. It’s happening. I’m making up words. If only I could be the next Shakespeare.

I spent the day writing and editing.

I spent the night watching baseball instead of working because procrastination is so much easier than being productive.

When I first started writing this post, I was trying to think of parallels between editing and baseball. I’m sure there are some, but my tired brain can’t think of one.

After writing most of an essay earlier in the day, my brain was ready to shut down. In a perfect world, I would have a lot more time to write and edit all my essays.

I don’t enjoy trying to write an entire paper in one session, which is why I prefer not to procrastinate until the last minute. More often than not, I give myself enough time. After all, I know myself as a writer better than anyone.

It helps that I write every day. I know what I’m capable of, I know how long I need. So I can plan out my mess of a life accordingly.

Editing is tricky though. Again, in a perfect world, I’d have all the hours I want for revisions. Some papers take longer, especially if I wrote an extremely terrible first draft. Besides, the more words I’ve written, the more time it’ll take to make them better.

I know this isn’t the best idea, but occasionally I write and edit while watching baseball. When possible I mostly reserve such moments for shallow work such as typing up text messages or informal emails.

But I’m neither flawless, nor am I a saint.

I still haven’t thought of a parallel between editing and baseball. So much for that idea.

Whenever I need to edit, I want to write. Vice versa holds true too. Sadly, I want to do what I’m not doing.

Anyhow, I can’t wait to have a productive day tomorrow. I need to. Those papers won’t write or edit themselves.


A note from real time Herminia:

Obviously, I wrote this post and many others while there was still baseball on TV. But I realized that some of the sentiments I wrote a while ago are still relevant today. I figured now is as good of a time as any to publish this blast from the not so distant past. Fear not, more will come. I’m horribly behind with blogging and horrible at catching up. Thanks for understanding.

Blogging During A Baseball Game

Baseball and blogging totally go together.

I know it’s not good to multi-task, but I’m not perfect. I either do nothing or do everything at the same time. There’s no in between. Besides, the commercials during ball games are frequent and way too long when I’m not doing anything.

The more I think about it, the more I want to blog about baseball. What’s stopping me? Better question, who’s stopping me? Myself.

The imposter syndrome is real. Who am I to blog about baseball? Who am I to blog about blogging?

Life has been a grind lately. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Fortunately, I enjoy watching baseball and blogging. Unfortunately, school gets in the way sometimes.

Trying to do two things at once isn’t the most effective way to go. This post has taken a long time to write, and I’m not even halfway there.

In a perfect world where I had 25 hours every day, I like to think my blog posts would be longer. But I do like the shorter format. It’s a nice change from 10 page academic essays.

If you were wondering, which you probably weren’t, I’ve picked up the pace a little bit on this blog post.

Something about doing things slowly bothers me. Most of my problems would be fixed with longer days.

I think I jinxed myself. I stopped blogging because the ball game got interesting.

Remind me not to date a blogger and a baseball fan because then I’d probably never get any work done.

A part of me wishes I had more discipline when it comes to avoiding distractions. Too bad I’m a weak mortal.

I don’t know how baseball bloggers get any work done.

Separating Writing For Fun From Writing For School

I try to keep the two separate from each other as much as possible. Otherwise I’d lose what’s left of my sanity. But sometimes when I’m pressed for time, I wonder if I should consider what I write for school as fulfilling my creative quota for the day.

Who am I fooling? Not myself obviously. And it’s sort of cheating in my eyes.

Come on. Do better, Herminia.

As much as I love what I’m studying (Book & Media, English, Writing & Rhetoric), there are areas of overlap in my personal interests. So everything mixes into one giant mess.

Personally, I blog for a lot of reasons. I clear my head when I write. Well, I try to anyway. I know I can always turn to pen and paper, my best friends when school gets to be too much. It didn’t help my non-existent patience that I hated the second sentence of an essay I had to edit.

Writing is hard. And if you are a writer, it’s even harder. Yet I still put myself in the same position every day, staring at a blank page or a white screen.

I was just thinking to myself if someone gave me the choice to do just about anything, writing would be a top priority. Even if that list of potential tasks was a million items long. I’d still choose writing over a ton of other things.

Over the years, I like to think I’ve fallen more in love with words.

I used to tell people I want to publish a book. I do. But as of late, I tend to say I just want to write and blog. Is that too much to ask for?

I digress as I often do.

Back to the point of writing for fun and for school. I won’t let university stop me. The whole process of creating something takes time and effort. But it’s also so incredibly rewarding. More than anything, writing is worthwhile.

A Life Update You Didn’t Ask For

As I’m prone to do, I’ve been thinking a lot. Which is how this post of thoughts came to be.

I think I like the idea of making changes to this blog more than I like making change.

Obviously, my brain obsesses over blogging when I’m swamped with schoolwork. But maybe over the holidays, I’ll tinker with things.

Somehow, NaNo is in full swing. To be quite honest, I’m not trying to reach 50,000 words or any kind of a word count for that matter. Right now it’s enough to write every day even if the words are terrible.

I’m writing prose. I hope to start a novel and see the story through until the end. So far so good.

In a perfect world, I’d make writing my first priority. But I don’t live in a perfect world. It’s still a priority, just not my first or only.

My reasoning is when I’m eighty years old I won’t be able to dance to the extent I can now. I doubt my body will respond well to doing cartwheels then. Though I like to believe I’ll still be able to write when I’m an old lady.

For that reason, I’m trying to dance as much and as well as I can at this age.

Dance isn’t something I bring up much on this blog. I wonder if I should. There are definitely parallels I can draw between dancing and writing, blogging.

On another note, I’m quite pleased with my reading. Not so with my reviewing. I’m horribly behind in editing and posting book reviews.

I realize I’m better at keeping up with fictional novels than I am with non-fiction. Still, I try to read some non-fiction on the subway ride home, even though I don’t say so on Goodreads. I’m just more casual with my non-fiction reading.

Overall, I’m doing the best I can. That’s what matters to me.

I debated not bringing up school, but since I’m a full-time student, I figured I will. Despite all the assignments due this month and next, I’m managing. I haven’t failed anything. I like to believe I won’t.

If you’ve read this far, kudos to you. I hope you’re doing well. Wishing you the very best life has to offer. Take care. I want to see you around here.

 

Thinking About Taking A Break From Blogging

It seems as though thinking about taking a break from blogging is becoming a trend for me. A few times every year I consider going away on an extended hiatus. More often than not, I weather the storm and ride things out. Interestingly, when I think about not blogging for a few days or weeks even, I’m inspired to blog more.

That being said I didn’t post yesterday. I had a massive headache and couldn’t function like abnormal human being. So I took some medicine before trying to sleep it off. I’m feeling much better if you’re wondering, which you probably weren’t.

Whenever I entertain the idea of skipping a day or twenty, it’s mainly because I feel busy. That’s not my biggest concern this month.

To be honest, I haven’t been too motivated or excited about blogging as of late. I figured taking a few days off might help.

But if there’s one thing I am it’s stubborn. I don’t like the idea of not publishing a post every day. I almost forced my drugged up self to blog yesterday until I thought better of it.

Regardless of what’s going on in my personal life, I want to put in a little bit of work as often as possible.

I won’t give up this gig anytime soon. I hope I can figure everything out. I just know what I’m doing now doesn’t feel right.

Maybe my high expectation syndrome is rearing its ugly head.

I also wouldn’t go say far as to say I’m burnt out. At least not from blogging.

I like to think I’m not bored either.

I’m just set in my ways. So stubborn in how I operate that when things turn out differently, a part of me isn’t happy with the result.

It’s like I have this specific but vague vision of what this blog should be and how my posts need to look. Otherwise, I’m shaking both of my fists at myself.

Nevertheless, the more I blog, the more I realize how little I enjoy editing, especially in comparison to writing. I’ve been procrastinating proofreading and publishing. This issue has contributed to how I’ve been feeling lately.

As a teenager, I used to manage my time better. All that went out the window way too soon.

Don’t ever believe someone who tells you blogging is easy.

Going Without The Internet For 6 Hours

So the other day my internet service provider decided to fail me for about 6 hours. It stopped working after 2 p.m. The company got it back up around 9 o’clock at night.

Without access to more modern technology, I read a bit. Then I spent a lot of time dealing with a stubborn kitchen sink. Not exactly how I imagined my day when I woke up in the morning.

About halfway through the baseball game, our TV service was interrupted. So I missed a good part of the game.

During that period, I made several trips to a hardware store in hopes of fixing a leaky kitchen sink. My family eventually replaced the old kitchen sink with a new one.

My original plan consisted of reading a lot and staying at home to relax. Unfortunately, I didn’t read much. Even more unfortunate, the faucet fix was more stressful than it should’ve been.

Life happened. Still, the world isn’t going to end. Somehow that day worked out okay. Not perfect or ideal but then again when is life ever either?

I kept reminding myself the sun will rise tomorrow, and so will I.

I was feeling antsy because I wasn’t sure if the internet would work before midnight. I try to publish a blog post every day, and I hadn’t published one yet. I shouldn’t procrastinate until the last hour. But I do all the time.

It’s been a transitional time for me. I’m doing my best to stay positive by looking on the bright side and appreciating the little things in life. Cliché, I know. But I’m being honest.

I’m glad I still have a safe space with this blog in a crazy world.

After My First Day Of School

I’m writing this after my first day of school. Third year of university to be exact.

It wasn’t an eventful day. I had two classes. I’m glad it’s over.

I didn’t feel as nervous or worried this year. In fact, I very much look forward to learning in a classroom setting again.

Here’s an abridged version of my day:

I woke around six. Then I willed myself to fall back asleep.

I got out of bed after 8:30. I ate, read, and exercised. Then I left the house.

I took a bus and then the subway to get downtown. I wrote poems on the way there. I’m writing this post on the way back.

I had two classes back to back. Both related to media. During the short time I had after the first class, I ate a late lunch.

I realize this is boring. Nothing exciting happened. I’m not that interesting of a personto begin with.

I plan to stretch and dance soon after I get home.

My goal for tonight is to read more. I only had time for one short chapter in the morning.

I’m also going to edit a blog post and publish it before midnight. I have about a thousand drafts. I doubt I’ll ever let that number get down to zero.

I love journaling before bed. I enjoy reflecting upon the day.

Isn’t my life so much fun to read about?

I do the same things every 24 hours, which means I won’t be recounting my day anytime soon. I wouldn’t bore you like that. Instead, I’ll bore you with my opinions about anything and everything.

Sometimes I wonder whether I should publish the personal posts I write. There are tons among those one thousand drafts. There’s an annoying voice in my head that says no one cares. But I care, which is what matters.

More often than not, I write these posts for myself.

Hopefully, you’re able to take something away from them.

Feeling Behind In Blogging

I’m behind on a lot of things, especially with this blog. I blame school. OK, fine postseason baseball too.

I’m not sure I’ll ever catch up. That’s okay. There will always be more work to do and not enough hours in the day.

I try to write and blog every day. I don’t have a problem doing so. But because I handwrite, I have to transcribe what I’ve written onto WordPress at some point.

I’ve been struggling to keep to say the least. I have poems and stories I wrote in 2016 still not typed up. And blog posts dating back to last month.

Luckily over the summer, I kept up with blogging quite well.

Then school started.

By the time a post is ready for publication, it’s dated. Not even relevant sometimes.

As university gets busier, I fall more behind. I can only dream of catching up.

Since I’m someone who likes being on top of things and feeling like I have my life together, this situation doesn’t bode well with my psyche.

Even if I had an entire month where I didn’t have anything else to do, I’m not sure I’d be able to type up all my written poems, posts.

Aside from falling behind, I’m also a bit overwhelmed. Books and baseball don’t mix. Who would have thought?

Word by word. Day by day. I write those lines in my journal as a reminder to myself. I can’t get to the end without first beginning and focusing on what’s next. Tomorrow happens tomorrow after all.

I don’t have to write or blog, much less do so every day. But I want to. And so I do my best to make it happen.

If I was just a student I’d have a lot more time. I will never be one thing and one thing only. I’m a writer, a blogger, a reader. I’m a daughter. I’m a sister. I’m a friend. I’m all these things and so much more.

Finding that balance is perhaps the toughest, trickiest part.

I only have so many hours in the day and so much energy to expend on any given project.

As much as I want to do almost everything, I can’t. But I’d much rather do a few things well than do a lot of stuff badly.

 

Still In A Slump

I’m still in a slump. So blogging has been far from easy.

Instead of talking about how I’m in a creative funk right now, I’m going to say goodbye to the baseball season.

The last game was on October 1, 2017. Funny how the season ends on the first day of a new month.

I’d like to take a moment to thank all of you for putting up with my baseball references. Hopefully, they will be few and far in between now that the season is over. Or maybe I’ll miss it so much that I can’t stop talking about the sport. In which case I should start another blog or something. But who has time for that? Not me. Maybe if I had twenty-five hours in the day. Too bad I don’t.

I realize every player is less than 100 perfect at the end of the season. So am I. It feels like my body decided to break down on me in the beginning of October.

So my creativity has disappeared while my body has seen better days. What’s next?

I’m doing my best to stay positive. To be grateful.

This will pass. The bruise on my knee will heal. The neck pain will go away. The scar on my chest will fade.

How exhausting is it listening to my whining?

This month hasn’t started off on the best note. But it can only get better, right?

Wrong. I got rejected.

To which I tell myself and all of you aspiring writers, it’s part of the industry, the business. Rejection is almost never personal, so don’t take it personally.

Other writers and authors were rejected before you. Many more will be rejected after you. You aren’t alone. You aren’t the only one.

Keep writing. You’ll find a home for your story. Keep going. You’ve gone too far to give up.

Every experience can be a learning one. Improve. Get better. Do great work.

You’ll be rejected more times than you’re accepted.

(I wrote this post at the start of the October. Of course, I like to think I’m breaking out of the slump. I’m also trying to fix the fact that I’ve fallen about a month behind with my blog posts. Bear with me.)