Looking At The Year Ahead

Today, I wrote my last exam for the fall semester. I can’t believe I only have one more semester of university left.

Classes start up again in January, and even though I’m excited, I feel nervous.

Exams finish in April. my graduation ceremony is in June.

After I graduate, I want to work and write.

I’m looking forward to what’s next. I feel like I’m already embarking on a new chapter in my life.

I don’t want to jump too far ahead because anything can happen between now and next year. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about post-grad.

As much as I love blogging, I might publish less in the future. I’ve been trying to post every day in December, but I’m not sure what 2019 will bring. It’s going to be a year full of change.

I don’t see myself going back to university, at least not anytime soon. So I will try to pursue my dreams and see where life takes me.

I have every intention to keep learning and improving even after I finish school and start work. My goal is to become a better human being with each passing day.

I Like Feeling Productive

Who doesn’t like being productive?

I feel good when I get stuff done. I need a goal, a purpose.

Without a challenge, I’m bored. I don’t always feel like working though. But I dislike feeling unproductive.

It’s so easy to put off and procrastinate rather than start right away. But I know I can’t wait for a perfect moment. I also shouldn’t wait until I feel inspired or motivated. Sometimes I just need to sit down and start.

I prefer doing a little every day rather than a lot all at once. It’s exhausting to write for 6 hours straight. But 60 minutes isn’t that tiring.

I’m not always as productive as I’d like to be. That’s okay. Some days are better than others.

I’m learning to start over. just because I did or didn’t do something yesterday doesn’t mean I can’t change what I do today.

I have bad days, even bad weeks. But I always find a way to get back on track.

At any given time, there are plenty of projects on my plate. They aren’t going to complete themselves. I need to start and finish them myself.

I’m not very good at taking breaks and doing nothing. Which is why I try to get a little bit closer to where I want to be with each passing day.

Baby steps. Walk before I run. I should enjoy this journey rather than stress about it. I’ve been worrying about the wrong things lately.

Somehow, someway it will work out in the end, so long as I work hard every step of the way.

21 Things I Want To Change About Myself At 21 Years Old

1. Procrastinating too much.
2. Holding grudges.
3. Making assumptions.
4. Playing it safe.
5. Stressing myself out.
6. Overthinking things.
7. Analyzing too much.
8. Letting fear hold me back.
9. Judging other people.
10. Criticizing someone I hardly know.
11. Being lazy and lethargic.
12. Eating more than I should.
13. Dividing my attention.
14. Getting easily distracted.
15. Abandoning creative projects.
16. Forgetting what my friends tell me.
17. Taking myself too seriously.
18. Holding onto the past.
19. Underestimating my abilities.
20. Buying stuff I don’t need.
21. Making small things a big deal.

25 Things I Would Tell My 18 Year Old Self

1. Have an open mind.
2. Don’t be so cynical.
3. Life will work out.
4. You’re not perfect.
5. Never assume anything.
6. Give others the benefit of the doubt.
7. Love yourself first.
8. You aren’t missing out.
9. Enjoy the little things.
10. Be aware of your surroundings.
11. Stop jumping to conclusions.
12. Learn from the best.
13. Write bad first drafts.
14. Editing is everything.
15. Read what you want.
16. Dance full out.
17. Blog for yourself.
18. Journal often.
19. Try to forgive.
20. People change.
21. Show up.
22. Have something to show.
23. Keep your promises.
24. Be early.
25. Continue to improve.

Make Time For Yourself

You have to make time for yourself. It’s okay to look out for your best interests. It’s all right to take all the time you need.

Do what you need to do, whatever that means for you.

There’s nothing wrong with being alone, being by yourself.

We’re more connected than ever before thanks to cell phones and social media. Sometimes it’s hard to put technology down and not stare at a screen all the time. That being said, human connection is necessary.

You’re a human being. Believe it or not, I’m human too.

You aren’t a machine. You need to interact and communicate with others. But know your limits. Remember them when you need to put your foot down.

Don’t be afraid to listen to your heart and your head. Because at the end of the day, you have to make yourself happy.

People respect you if you respect yourself first. At least, the people who respect themselves will. It’s tough though. But you live and learn. That’s how life goes.

Some people might not understand. Don’t worry about them. Worry about yourself.

Do what sets your soul on fire, even if you were the last person on earth.

What’s something you look forward to? What’s something you love more than anything else in the world?

Never let excuses run or ruin your life. You only have so much time.

Hold onto your values, your beliefs. Only change for the better.

Make time for yourself, so you can take care of yourself.

Change Your Life | A Poem

never forget

where you came from

the roots you grew out of

find your wings

take flight

into the sky

return home

see faces you recall

feel comfortable

in the familiar

only miss what’s gone

appreciate right now

attached to the ones

who shaped your soul

they gave you a shot

to prove your worth

not that you needed to

but you’re thankful

for the chance

to explore places

you were afraid to go

at least you’re alive

remember

these are the moments

that

change your life

Staying True To Yourself

I used to be someone I wasn’t. I wasn’t myself because I tried to be what people wanted or expected of me.

I’m not perfect by any stretch. I still struggle to stay true to what I stand for. But it’s easy to give in.

At times, I feel very much like I’m a doormat. Because I let people step on me figuratively. I don’t put my foot down.

I can be firm, say no. I tend to know what I want to do, what I don’t want to do. But I’ve never been the best at vocalizing my desires or opinions, especially if they’re unpopular, which they often are.

When I first sat down to write this post, I figured I’d write about my journey as a blogger. How at one point in time I was not blogging for myself. And because of that, I didn’t feel happy. Or content with my creations.

But recently I realized I’m not always myself around people in general. Maybe that means I need new company. Or maybe I have to rethink who I am as well as who I want to be.

For better or worse, people change. Differently. Some people change faster while others take a bit longer.

Now more than ever before I’ve come to accept and embrace my flaws, quirks, etc. But I can love myself yet still want to improve, get better. That’s life for you.

Humans are not easily content. At least, I’m not. If I was completely happy, I wouldn’t have to do anything ever again. I wouldn’t learn every day. Or read, write, blog.

As I grow older, I hope to mature and become the person I aspire to be. Not always easy, but I’m doing my best. That’s all I ask of myself.

Stay true to yourself. Don’t live your life for someone else.

On Turning 20 Years Old

On August 22, 2017, I turned 20 years old.

I didn’t feel any different at the time. But I’ve changed so much since then.

I have come a long way. I’d even go so far as to say the person I was yesterday is not who I am today.

20 years might not seem like much for some people. But for me, it’s my whole life. Now with two decades of living under my belt, I can confidently say that as I’ve grown older, I have also gotten better.

In recent months, I gained much needed perspective. I realized there’s a lot more to life than being popular or cool, getting straight A’s, etc.

I used to worry myself crazy over things that never came to pass.

I obsessed over a past I couldn’t change and worried about a future I had no control over.

I would overthink. Overanalyze people and situations. Read too much into body language or certain words, phrases, so on.

As of late, I’ve tried to focus more on the present. Cliché, huh?

Nowadays, I’m doing my best to live in the moment and enjoy myself.

After all, we only ever have today. We don’t have tomorrow. But we have right now.

The older I get, the more accepting I am of certain facts in life. One being humans are constantly changing. Hence why I’m making peace with the consequences, positive or negative, of those changes.

I did plenty of self-reflection this past summer. I had time to think, so I thought. A lot.

As I’m writing this, I want nothing more than to be happy and healthy.

I personally define happiness as being able to do what I love and actually doing it. If all else fails, I will still continue to pursue the things that bring me the most joy in life.

This blog is a little over four years old. But I feel like turning twenty means a new beginning for my blogging, my writing, my everything.

Cheers to all of you who stuck by a teen writer for however long you did.

I’m an adult now, which means I no longer have an excuse to create crappy content. I joke.

Thank you for making the past four and final years of my teens the best I could’ve ever asked for.

Here’s to many more.