Writing

Feeling Uninspired

Sometimes I feel uninspired to create.

I’ve been wondering whether I want to write and blog every day in 2019. Even though I enjoy both, it’s hard work.

I want to be excited about the creative process again. I’m not giving up. Right now, I just need a new start.

At first, I felt like I had to create every day. Nowadays, I still feel a bit beholden to my past self.

I’m in a bit of a rut. I know I should make some changes, but that’s easier said than done.

Going forward, I will try not to be so hard on myself. As much as I love creating, I also love doing other things.

I know I’ll regret what I didn’t do more than what I did. I owe it to myself to live my life. Even if that means I don’t blog every day or write as much as before.

In many ways, I’m still trying to figure out my place in this world. As a blogger. As a writer. As a human being.

Personal Reflection

Trying To Trust The Process

There are so many things I want to do before I die. And it’s hard to be patient. But I’m trying to trust the process.

I think I overthink. No, I know I do. I make everything more complicated than it needs to be, which is exhausting.

I’ll do better. I will do my best.

I can’t be anyone else. I can only be myself. Sometimes I feel like an imposter. Who am I to write, to create?

I tend to elevate others and downplay my own abilities. So in my mind, everyone is better than me. On bad days, I wonder why even try if I’ll never be good enough? Why bother in the first place?

Life is too short. I used to be afraid of dying. But right now, I’m scared I’m not living up to my full potential. I need to face my own fears. It’s fine to fail. To be ignored or rejected.

I wish I didn’t take things too personally. I should grow a thicker layer of skin.

I don’t have any major regrets though. I wouldn’t change my choices. Still, I’ll continue to grow. I want to focus on improving myself.

It’s not always how you start but how you finish, right?

Blogging

What Should I Do With My Blog?

I don’t know what to do with my blog. I’m trying to figure out the kind of content I want to create going forward.

I’m also wondering when and how often I’ll be blogging. When I first started, I set the goal of posting every day. But some days, I consider scaling it back.

I enjoy writing personal posts and poems. I’m in a poetry phase. I also haven’t been writing much prose lately. I don’t love the short stories I’ve written in the past.

Also, some of my favourite post to read and write are lists.

I plan on continuing with book reviews. I’d like to do more bookish posts, but I haven’t gotten around to following through with my ideas.

If you have any ideas or suggestions, let me know in the comments below.

I’m thinking about bringing back posts I’ve done in the past. Maybe doing a part two or something similar.

Still, I’d like to challenge myself to create better content.

I want to feel excited when blogging, but I don’t know what excites me anymore.

I won’t quit anytime soon. That being said, I may take a break or blog every other day in the future.

Blogging · Writing

The Challenge In Creating Content

Creating content is challenging.

I’m an advocate for alliteration. Sorry not sorry.

When I think too much, which happens way too often, I realize a few things. Brace yourself for this disorganized, messy post.

In many ways, I have been lucky. I won’t rely on luck to get me where I want, though.

Also, the longer I’m in school, the more value I see in doing things outside academia. Like getting real-life experience by working or volunteering.

I also see the value in having a personal passion project on the side like running a blog. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t started mine four-plus years ago. The opportunities I’ve gotten and the offers I’ve been given…amazing. All because one day after school, I decided to make an account on WordPress.

I remind myself it takes years to become an overnight success. Nothing happens overnight, nothing incredible at least.

Like everyone else, I have bad blogging days when I’m struggling to put words down on the page. A part of me enjoys the challenge that comes with writing. It’s worth the effort. After all, the bad days make the good ones even sweeter.

I’m not exactly sure what life has in store for me going forward. But I’ll try to do my best and be my best.

I don’t get bored easily because no day is the same. On the other hand, there’s little to no stability or guarantees in this industry.

Still, I wouldn’t enjoy doing the same thing every day. So I’ll gladly choose to experience the challenging and confusing times that come with creating content.

Writing

Face Your Fears As A Writer

I like to think I am more fearless while writing as opposed to when I'm not. What a surprise.

I wouldn't compare myself to a chicken because I'm worse.

In real life, I hold myself back from doing things because I'm scared. And I wonder if my fears also faze me in creative pursuits such as blogging.

I know I can take bigger risks and push the envelope more so to speak. But I don't.

Is it because I'm terrified of the unknown? Am I afraid to depart from what I'm used to and do something different?

Yes. And yes.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm only taking small baby steps. It's still better than not taking any, never moving forward.

What gets me is the fact that at one point in my life writing was risky.

I didn't always write. I wasn't good at it. Even though I had no idea what my future held, I figured writing wouldn't work out for me.

So many years ago, I took a risk one day by picking up a pen and putting words on the page.

Now all I want is to create better content, tell greater stories. Tough to do so if I'm scared of failing or rejection.

Maybe your definition of risk is different from mine. That's fine.

But isn't it insane to imagine how the things you do now were a risk or a fear five years ago? That what you consider risky now might be totally safe, even routine a month from now?

I guess what I'm trying to get at is our fears change. Our definition of risk does too. Almost everything and everyone changes. Don't be afraid of change. Embrace it.

After all, you can live your whole live letting fear hold you back or you can show fear what you're made of.

Here's to conquering our fears. Face the page and take risks. You have more to gain than you have to lose.

Life is a journey, after all. Might as well enjoy where you are right now.

Doing more, doing better happens gradually. You don't make leaps and bounds in progress overnight. But every time you face your fear, you're improving yourself.

It's okay to be afraid. But it's not okay to let your biggest fear hold you back.

I don't have an easy solution. The best we can do as writers and human beings is to confront what's holding us back from reaching our full potential.

Dig deep. Find the strength you need to overcome your greatest insecurities.

Realize there's no feat quite like facing your demons and coming out victorious.

I raise my glass of water to all of you. Keep taking risks. Remember you're better than you fears.

Writing

So You Think You Can Write A Novel

So you think you can write a novel, huh?

You can.

It’s not going to be easy. But it’s possible.

You can do it. I believe in you. Do you believe in yourself?

When the going gets tough, don’t give up.

Remember it’s worth it. Finishing the first draft of a novel might be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do in your life.

If you take on the creative challenge, you’ll be tested every step of the way. Exciting, no?

When you want to quit, remember why you started. When you’re ready to give up, know that you’re closer to the end than you realize.

Sometimes you’ll think there’s so much work left to do, so many words you still have to write. Don’t forget to look back. See how far you’ve come. How proud you’ll be if you cross that finish line.

If I can, you most certainly can.
We’re at that point in July—I fondly refer to it as Camp NaNoWriMo—where I doubt my ability to write a novel, despite having done so already. In fact, I’ve written my share of them in my short lifetime. I say this as I’m about to turn twenty in one month’s time. I’m old, people.

Self doubt is such a crippling feeling. It kills more dreams than anything else in the world if you ask me.

My dream is to publish a novel. I can’t exactly do that when I have the devil that is self doubt breathing down my neck while I’m trying to write. Hello, rude.

So if you think you can’t write a novel, I know how you feel. I felt that way. Sometimes I still do.

It also took me two years, maybe even longer to finish my first.

Short breaks turned into extended vacations. I’m sure you understand.

For anyone out there who’s confident they can write a novel, I like your confidence. Can I have some?

Writing can really kill your self-esteem. On the other hand, it’s boosted my confidence like nothing else.

I hope after reading this post, you’ll feel better about your own ability to write a novel. If not, don’t worry, I have no plans to quit my day job.

Perhaps you’re 222% confident in your novel writing ninja skills. In that case, why are you still reading? Don’t waste your time on this sorry excuse for a blog.

Can you tell I’m self-deprecating to a fault?

I digress. I do often. I trust future Herminia to edit my ramblings by cutting every other word. And then cutting every other remaining word. 

She clearly didn’t do her job. 

Swriously though, do you think you have what it takes to start and finish a novel?

If you didn’t answer I’m the affirmative, I want to smack some sense into your head. Of course you can. You’re a writer. A competent one, completely able to scratch across 50,000 words in a month. Or whatever your word count is. 100,000 words are for non-humans and monkeys. 

I can’t wait to see what you’ll create. I have a feeling you can’t either.

Writing

If You’re A Writer, Stop…

Asking for permission. I don’t care how young you are or how much experience you have. You don’t need to ask for permission to create. You don’t need my permission. You don’t need your mom’s permission. And most importantly, you don’t need the world’s permission.

Pleasing other people. The only person you need to please is yourself. And that’s hard enough as it is. Do what you want to do. Create something you genuinely want to create. If someone isn’t pleased about it, that’s their problem. Guess what? Unlike your plot holes, you don’t have to fix it.

Wishing and wondering. Do you wish and wonder and dream and daydream all the time? There’s nothing more I can say. Are you working and doing? Now we’re talking. I know it’s difficult. I know you’re busy. I know real life sucks more often than not. Why do you think I escape to fictional worlds and never want to leave them?

If you’re really a writer, you’ll stop reading this blog post and start working. Remember Big Brother’s watching.

Writing

Hating, Creating, Loving

I’m going through that really annoying phase where I hate everything I create.

But I’m not creating hate. Or spreading it. And I hope everyone else can do the same. 

Create love. Spread love. Inspire love.