Why This Writer Would Never Date Another Writer

Reason One: We would rarely see one another.

“Oh, are you busy tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Are you busy every day for the next year?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. See you a year and a day from now?”

“Sure.”

“On second thought, I might be busy then.”

Case in point.

Reason Two: We would be more in love with our work (read: fictional characters) rather than each other.

“I love my current protagonist.”

“Oh yeah? Right now, I love my antagonist.”

“Do you love me?”

“Not as much as I love my antagonist, no.”

“That’s okay. The feeling is mutual. I love my protagonist more than I’ll ever love you.”

That’s one healthy relationship.

Reason Three: We would be poor separately but penniless together. 

“So uh, are you paying for this?”

“I thought you were.”

“I don’t have any cash with me.”

“Neither do I.”

“Well we could always starve, live on the streets, and wear the clothes on our backs for the rest of our lives.”

What a bright future we have together.

I have reached the end of this post, which is a little different from my normal ones. I know I’m being dramatic and exaggerating the truth. That’s the whole point. Of course most of you know I don’t mean to offend or insult anyone. Especially all the lovely writers reading this.

I originally wrote this post for fun (more like my sanity), but now I’m starting to think dating another writer wouldn’t be so bad. We’d both pursue our dreams, enjoy what we do, and go through hardships like any couple. This entire post is wildly inaccurate. I may just rename it to…

Why This Writer Would Date Another Writer

3 Things You Must Do When Dating A Writer

Read

If you don’t read, what are you even doing with your life? Seriously, get it together. What’s that? You hate reading? Well, I hate you. Same thing.

Listen

If you can’t listen, you can’t communicate and if you can’t communicate, you can’t court a writer. It won’t work. Try it. I dare you.

Smile

If you like frowning more than smiling, you have a problem. Writers deal with enough negativity as it stands. Must you ruin their lives even more?

5 Perks To Dating A Writer

I did the Disadvantages And Downfalls To Dating A Writer a while back but for some reason I never got around to doing the perks.

1. Writers love to write and edit so they will gladly help you with any of the two. It always helps to have someone who’s knowledgeable and competent to edit or proofread. Their grasp of grammar, sentence structure, and syntax will probably be more developed than yours unless of course, you’re a writer too. Ask them to do edit your work too often though and they will gladly dump you. Remember they have a life as much as you.  
2. Writers are intelligent and can hold their own in any conversation. Trust me on this one. We may be quiet for two hours but if you get us started on a topic we are passionate about, we won’t be so quiet any more. Besides you’ll likely learn a fact or two, catch on to some new vocabulary words, and be more appreciative of the small things in the world by being around us.
3. Writers are generally not greedy. First, writers don’t write for the money. Heck, we don’t write for the fame or fortune, we do this because we love it. So no matter who you are, what you do, or how much you earn…we don’t care.
4. Writers have flexible schedules. Call a writer up whenever you like as long as they aren’t in the process of writing.   
5. Writers are far from clingy. Maybe our love for solitude is a bad thing? Our heart belongs to writing. Our novels are our babies. Almost nothing stands in our way when it comes to writing. We thrive when we’re alone. In other words, we understand you need your personal space just make sure you give us room to breathe too?

I know I have ten disadvantages/downfalls and only five perks. But really if you’re going to date a writer regardless, you will see all the perks for yourself.

Disadvantages And Downfalls To Dating A Writer

1. We will write about anyone and this includes you. Hey, that’s a compliment. You’re interesting enough for us to write about. And you’re helping us earn some money at the same time. It’s a win-win situation.  
2. We talk to ourselves. You could be listening to the next best-seller. So nod, pretend you’re listening, and for crying out loud don’t walk away from us with that confused yet cold stare across your face.
3. We leave our things everywhere. Don’t freak out when you see papers scattered all around the house when your significant other is working on a novel.   
4. Writers live off Ramen noodles and tap water. Sorry if our taste palate isn’t fully developed yet. We will pass on the caviar thank you very much.
5. Writers hoard everything. If you move anything from its original location, we will know. If you throw away anything of ours (i.e. our poems, stories, novels), all hell will break loose.
6. Writers like to correct other people’s grammar and spelling. By no means are we insulting you, we are helping you.
7. Our space and privacy is important. Please don’t look at what we do online or you might be inclined to call the police.
8. Our gifts are usually mini-novels written on cards. Most of us are broke. Some of us enjoying saving for other important purchases like books. But all writers enjoy writing so any chance we get to write something, we will.
9. Our calling (writing) comes first. Meaning writing comes before you. Don’t be jealous we spend more time writing than cuddling with you.
10. You must support us. Or we’ll leave you. Don’t give your writer flowers or chocolate. Give our blogs a read, our manuscripts a revision, our books a review. If not, you really don’t love us. 
    

The above might explain the below:

Ten Commandments For Dating A Writer

10 Commandments For Dating A Writer

Do you think dating a writer would be cool? Would you ever want the pleasure of telling the whole world, “Hey, I’m dating a writer!” Wouldn’t it be impressive if you brought a writer home to your mom? Now before you jump off that deadly cliff and plunge into the world of dating writer, there are a few things you might want to know.

See, the problem is everyone thinks writers fall into one of two categories: the smart, funny, hardworking nerd or the lazy, unemployed, crazy psycho. Most people assume we fall into the latter category by the way. Truth be told, we really aren’t that bad. If you want a relationship with a writer, and I mean a real, sustainable relationship, not a one night stand or a one time fling—it might help to have a a way to navigate this unknown terrain. Your writer lover will be forever happy at best. Or you’ll see yourself murdered in a book at worst. Either way, the writer and you will both benefit from this relationship, right?

Below are the Ten Commandments for dating a writer. These are the rules. Your homework: memorize and follow them accordingly.

1. Don’t Google us.
2. Don’t read anything we write.
3. Don’t offer to edit our work for us.
4. Don’t rely on us to pay for anything important.
5. Don’t be mad when we abandon you for writing.
6. Don’t bother us when we are writing.
7. Don’t call us every minute of every hour of every day.
8. Don’t start an argument with us.
9. Don’t question our dramatics.
10. Don’t ever hurt our baby/babies (read: our manuscripts). 

The above is better explained by clicking the link below:

Disadvantages And Downfalls To Dating A Writer