Personal Reflection

Why I Am Terrified To Drive

I remember falling to the ground. Crying. Screaming. Hurting. I’ve never been in this much pain before.

I remember he’s not that much older than me. I’m sitting and he’s standing.

I remember the colour of the car. It’s blue. Light blue to be exact.

I remember now in that moment, I didn’t want anyone near me. But people started to approach.

I’m so terrified that one day the roles will be reversed. That the tables will turn.

I could never put someone else through that. A car versus a human. It hurts like hell. Recovery is hard.

I can’t stop thinking how a complete stranger completely changed the course of my life.

The front of the car hit my right leg. I fell on my left elbow. I had to have x-rays done. Fortunately, I didn’t break any bones. But in the days to come, I couldn’t even use my arm to adjust the glasses on my face, much less turn a steering wheel. So I stopped driving. And for a while, I was scared to drive again.

Even before everything happened, I felt anxious about driving. The accident made me more anxious.

I needed to write this post not for anyone else but for myself. Writing has always been my way of coping.

I know I have my demons. But I also know I can defeat them.

Nearly 11 months later, I finally took my road test and passed.

I can’t believe I went from so low to so high in the span of one year. From getting hit by a car to getting my G2 license.

Personal Reflection

My Personal And Professional Goals For 2018

If only I loved working towards my goals as much as I love making them.

Reading

I’m setting the bar low at 38 books in order to surpass my reading challenge on Goodreads. A girl deserves to feel good about herself.

Reviewing

I know I’m a turtle in getting my reviews up, but slow and steady wins the race, right? Call me book reviewer Herminia Chow.

Writing

Because I don’t do much else, I’m able to write every day. Here’s hoping I don’t get a boyfriend in 2018. Otherwise, there goes my plan to submit to a million competitions. I’d like to get my work out there on as many different platforms or places as possible. Living, breathing human beings would just get in the way of that.

Blogging

I’m a bad blogger. Yes, I’m resolving to visit more blogs and read more posts. No, I probably won’t. Publishing often isn’t a big problem, since I’m basically married to my own blog.

Dancing

I dance like nobody is watching because nobody ever is. My back flexibility is a joke. As is my core strength…well, lack thereof.

Driving

I’m willing to pay someone to drive me everywhere if it means I don’t have to. I am the slowest driver on the road right now. Maybe come December I’ll be a little bit faster. No promises.

Journaling

I don’t think I could handle the mere thought of someone reading my journal. If and when I die, please bury my notebooks with me. I need to take all my secrets to the grave.

Studying

Every semester, I think I’ll be a better student than I have been. I always forget how quickly my motivation goes out the window. I’m the worst. One time, I should reverse my way of thinking to mess with the universe. I’m going to be an awful student who never studies but always parties.

How much do you want to bet I’ll fail one of my goals this year?

*Cough* driving test *cough*

Creative Writing

Take The Wheel | A Poem

You said I’ll be fine

Just get behind

Feel what it’s like

To drift down city streets

And coast past country roads

Accelerate on the highway

With a beat under my feet

Taught me how to slow

When the world wouldn’t stop

Pushed me to go

Surrender control

Tap the gas pedal

Take the wheel

Personal Reflection

22 Things I’m Terrified Of

A list of things that scare me to some extent.

  1. Driving. It still terrifies me.
  2. Failure. I hate failing.
  3. Rejection. Not as horrifying as it used to be.
  4. Being late. I have nightmares about this.
  5. Getting drunk. I like being sober and in control.
  6. Living in a world without baseball. I wouldn’t want to live in such a world.
  7. Noise. Loud noises to be exact.
  8. Heat. I don’t want to burn myself.
  9. War. Any kind of violence.
  10. Blood. Other people’s specifically.
  11. Band-aids. More unsettling than anything.
  12. Germs. I’m a germaphobe.
  13. Forgetting. Especially anything important.
  14. Twisting my ankle while walking down the stairs. Happened one too many times.
  15. Being out at night. I feel unsafe.
  16. Darkness. I used to be afraid of the dark.
  17. Dying before I realize my dreams. No need to elaborate there.
  18. Dropping money. I’d prefer not to.
  19. Losing IDs. What a hassle to replace them.
  20. Drowning. Let’s hope I don’t die in a body of water.
  21. Getting lost. I’m terrible with directions.
  22. Car accidents. This might explain my first fear.

What are you terrified of?