My biggest fear in life isn’t failure. It’s not trying.
I somehow convince myself that I’m not good enough. As a result, I don’t try sometimes.
It’s 2019, and I’m still just as hard on myself, if not even harder.
I have to try. I have to try my best.
I know I don’t handle failure well though. I’m working on it. I wish I could easily embrace mistakes.
I’m aware that by not trying, in a way I avoid failing. Still, I fail in a different way. I fail if I don’t try.
This year, I want to take risks I haven’t before. If I don’t try, I’ll never know. If I don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
When I was younger, I was more fearless, less afraid. Back then, I felt like I had less to lose. But I don’t have much to lose now either.
Ideally, I’d publish a book before I have kids. Now that I’ve put my intention out into the world, I hope to follow through. The first step is trying to tell the best story I can. I’ve given myself a somewhat flexible due date. Without a timeline of some kind, I could spend my whole life writing novels but never publishing them. At this point, I just need to start somewhere. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, starting is the hardest part.