What I’d Tell My 20 Year Old Self

Be kind to everyone.

You don’t know what others are going through. They might be having a bad day.

You’re stronger than you think.

Give yourself more credit than you do.

Listen to the voice in your head.

Don’t confuse it for the voices of society.

Take care of your body.

You only have one.

The world isn’t fair.

Sometimes you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s life.

Love without shame.

Fall in love with people and things.

Learn to forgive.

You may never forget, but you can forgive. Do it for your own sake and sanity.

Confront your demons.

You have to face your fears. You can’t live the rest of your life scared to death.

Embrace failure and rejection.

You will learn more from screwing up than from success.

You aren’t always right.

It’s OK to be wrong.

You are not defined by your past.

Likewise, your past doesn’t dictate your future. Your present doesn’t either.

You will get better.

Your situation will improve. Nothing lasts forever. You may not feel fine right now, but one day you will.

21 Goals For 21 Year Old Me

1. Read good books.
2. Write a novel.
3. Dance like no one is watching.
4. Blog often.
5. Drive better.
6. Forgive yourself.
7. Study smart.
8. Go somewhere you’ve never been before.
9. Make a friend.
10. Save up money for a laptop.
11. Improve my middle split.
12. Stengthen my core.
13. Walk to places when possible.
14. Be kind to others.
15. Help a stranger.
16. Learn Spanish.
17. Journal at night.
18. Bake more.
19. Get enough sleep.
20. Graduate university.
21. Love yourself.

When You’re Feeling Anxious About The Future

When you’re feeling anxious about the future, remember to breathe. Focus on your breathing.

You can’t control everything. Change what you can. Don’t worry about the rest.

Double check. Triple check. Don’t let anything slip through the cracks. Make sure you’re on the right track.

Failure is inevitable. You will fail. You’ll lose. The key is to hold your head high.

Take rejection like a professional. You’re one step closer to success.

Try to live in the present. It’s so much easier said than done. But you only have today. You don’t know what tomorrow may bring, much less next year.

Appreciate your own accomplishments. You’re here because you’ve succeeded in the past. There’s no reason why you can’t succeed again.

Let go. Leave the baggage behind. Your past doesn’t dictate your future unless you let it. Likewise, your current circumstances don’t dictate what’s to come. Things change. People do too.

Believe in your dreams over your nightmares. One day, you will get where you want to go. But you have to take the steps to get there. Take life one day at a time, one deadline at a time.

You can’t do it all. You don’t have to. Everyone has 24 hours.

You’re stronger than you feel. You’re smarter than you think. In fact, you’re better than you know.

You can give something your all or you can get nothing instead.

Do what you want. Do what you need. Do makes you happy.

It’s OK to forget. Sometimes you have to forgive others. Other times, you have to forgive yourself.

Take care of your body now, so you’ll be healthy later. It’s easier to stay in shape than it is to get back into shape. Self-care extends beyond exercising.

If you’re struggling, ask for help. You’re not alone. You will never be.

When you’re anxious about the future, imagine a better world. Get excited about new possibilities. You don’t need to have all the answers, just a desire to ask questions.

Believe In Your Work Ethic

There’s so much in this world that you can’t control. But you can control your work ethic.

Work hard. Work harder than anyone else you know.

Believe in your work ethic. Believe in yourself.

Put in the time. Pay your dues. You’ll be rewarded soon.

The journey you’re on is beautiful, but it’s also ugly. Keep going.

You will fall down, and when you do, get back up. Brush the dust off. Wipe the dirt away.

You will laugh. You will cry. The lows will make you appreciate the highs.

You’re not alone. You’re not on your own. Others have been there or are there right now.

Share your burdens. You don’t have to bear it all.

Make sure you continue to grow. There’s always more to learn.

You’re doing just fine. You’ll be all right.

Do what you want. Do what you love. Do things your way. Do things on your terms.

Love people, places. Don’t hate. Stop feeling ashamed for loving anyone or anything.

Never settle. Always remember you deserve the best.

Respect yourself first and foremost. You are who you are.

Your scars may fade, but they’ll never go away. You remember. They are a reminder.

Live the life you deserve to live. You don’t need anyone’s permission. You don’t need everyone’s approval.

Learn to forgive yourself for messing up. The world won’t end if you make a mistake. After all, your past doesn’t dictate your future. It gets worse before it gets better.

Walk a mile in other shoes, even and especially ones that don’t fit you.

Have hope. Be positive when negativity arises. Find your confidence when you lose it.

Dig deep. Go deeper. Believe in your work, your ethic, and your work ethic.

Making Mistakes And Moving On

To err is human, to forgive divine.

We all make mistakes. I made one that sticks out like a sore thumb. Fitting because my thumb made the error.

I’m trying to make peace with it and move on. Because life’s too short to get hung up over insignificant mistakes that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

I’m not perfect. I’ll never claim to be. But I do my best.

When I make a mistake, even if I’m only the one aware of it, I’m more motivated to work harder in order to compensate for my error.

I’m so hard on myself. I beat my mind up for messing up.

But I realize in a few months or days, a lot of mistakes won’t matter to me anymore. I’ll make many more in the days to follow. I’ll have other concerns and worries.

I’m old, so old. 20 years to be exact. I am still learning to move on.

Humans make mistakes. We tend to have good intentions, but the result isn’t always what we intended. That’s okay. Live and learn, right?

I will go to my grave believing everything in life happens for a reason. If it was meant to be, it will be. If it wasn’t meant to happen, it won’t.

Things work out. Sometimes even better than we could’ve expected.

For many reasons, I try to publish a blog post every day, which obviously increases my odds of making more mistakes. But I know if I don’t challenge myself, I won’t change. And I’m all for challenges. Even though changes aren’t always easy, I rather change for the better than never change at all.

Thank you to everyone who forgave me for my mistakes. Now to forgive myself.

Forgiving thy self. What do I know about that? I’m more forgiving of others for small human errors. But I can’t help but hold myself to near impossible standards.

I wonder how often people even notice my mistakes. Maybe I shouldn’t worry as much.

Mess up but learn and move on.

Forgive Yourself For Forgetting

Forgive. Yourself. Right. Now.

It’s okay.

You’re forgiven. I forgive you.

We give ourselves so much crap for all the things we never did because we forgot.

You forgot to read? You forgot to write? You forgot to blog?

Forgive yourself for forgetting. For everything.

Please. 

I think I’m incapable of cutting myself any slack, even though I have no problem doing so when it comes to everyone else. In that regard I’m nicer to other people than I am to myself.

I will continue to lament that I forget stuff because I’m old. And getting older with each passing day, with each blog post published.

I’m a human being. I forget. I mess up. Five year old Herminia probably made fewer messes than nineteen going on twenty year old me. 

Yes, I refer to my past self in the third person. No, I won’t stop referring to my past self in the third person.

That girl had a memory like no other. She could remember everything. She had nothing to forget.

Which is why I never learned to forgive.

Clearly, I also have no concerns about broadcasting my age to anyone who will listen. Or in this case read.

I shouldn’t beat myself up when I’m down. But I do.

I don’t forgive when I forget.

I forget but then I remember that I forgot. And I don’t forgive myself for forgetting.

By the way, I felt inspired to talk about forgiving yourself when you forget because I nearly forgot to write a blog post, and this is what I ended up writing about. 

Life, huh?

22 Lessons I Learned About Writing

These are twenty-two things I have learned as a writer. Or I’m still learning. Or I hope to learn.

1. Start writing.
2. Believe in your story.
3. Take it one word at a time.
4. Hold onto your dreams.
5. Pursue your passion.
6. Set small goals.
7. Never settle for less than your best.
8. Make the right sacrifices.
9. Stay true to your vision.
10. Write for yourself.
11. Be your own critic.
12. Be your own cheerleader.
13. Don’t let the bad days win.
14. Talk to other writers.
15. Accept rejection.
16. Embrace failure.
17. Find a support system.
18. Ask for help when needed.
19. Exercise your brain and body.
20. Remember why you started.
21. Forgive yourself.
22. Finish your stories.

What’s a lesson you’ve learned?

Forgiving And Forgetting

I don’t know why I find forgiving so hard. But I do.

And even though I can forgive, I know I won’t forget anytime soon.

I forgot how tough it is to hold a grudge. To be mad. To feel angry. 

It’s even tougher to not forgive or forget.

But maybe I can forgive because I care. About myself. About the other person. About our relationship. And maybe one day I’ll be able to forget because I’ve stopped caring. About what happened. About one mistake. About people’s opinions.