School

My Least Favourite Thing About University

University is great until I remember that grades are a thing.

Then again, either I did well and life goes on or I didn’t do well and life goes on.

Part of the reason why I want to graduate and get a job is because I don’t want to be graded anymore. I know grades are just grades. They don’t dictate my future. They aren’t a measure of my self-worth. But my ego has a mind of its own.

For my own sanity, I don’t obsessively check my grades. In first year, I focussed on doing work and the results worked themselves out.

I’ve done well before. There’s no reason why I can’t do well now.

To be completely honest, my GPA has dropped every year. It’s okay though. I’ve made peace with that.

In the past, I would check many of my grades all at once. That way, I wouldn’t get too hung up over one bad mark.

As long as I pass every class, I can graduate on time. That’s the main goal.

I keep getting emails about updated grades on my final essays and exams. A part of me wants to look at my grades but another part doesn’t. I haven’t worked up the courage to check any of them yet.

Personal Reflection

What Are You Going To Do After Graduation?

I don’t know what I’m doing post-grad. It makes me anxious just thinking about it. But everyone and their dogs love to ask, “what are you going to do after graduation?”

I keep changing my mind. I can’t decide. Still, I’ll try to summarize my goals for 2019 in a nutshell.

My last semester starts in January and ends in April. That’s crazy. I’m so close to being done.

The graduation ceremony is in June. I wouldn’t miss that for the world.

Afterwards, I’ll probably work. I have no idea what or where. Regardless of my day job, I still plan to blog and write as much as possible next year.

I’ve never spent entire days or an extended period of time working on my own creative projects. Perhaps one day, I can get to a point where that’s possible.

On my hand, I feel like I need to work all the time. On the other, I also need to live my life. I’ll figure things out.

If I want to go back to school, I will. If not, I can find a job. I’d love to travel too, see more of the world.

Whatever I end up doing, I will do my best. And whatever I end up not doing is probably for the better.

Writing

I Want To Write Full-Time

For the longest time, I imagined I’d have a regular 9-to-5 job, unrelated to writing while I wrote on the side during my own time. But these days I want to write full-time.

I’ve never considered myself to be a journalist. Despite some people seeing me as one, I don’t. I haven’t dabbled in journalism. I feel like I’m not that passionate about it. Even though I considered doing an undergraduate degree in journalism, I’m glad I didn’t. I love making up stories too much.

I’ve been thinking that instead of chasing a perfect career, I’d choose a preferred lifestyle. Rather than aiming to be an author, I should strive to create a life where I can write.

I need to be flexible and open-minded. Having an all or nothing mindset isn’t ideal. Besides if I never become an author, it’s not the end of the world. I’d be happy having a career that enables me to write.

I’ve also been thinking that a lot of people obsess over the highlights of a career, yet overlook the less glamorous aspects of a job.

Pursuing writing as a profession means dealing with criticism and rejection. Half the battle is being able to endure the bad.

All this to say, I still have no idea what I’ll be doing after I graduate. I just want to write.

Personal Reflection

Feeling Scared To Try New Things

The older I get, the more scared I am to try new things. I feel like I need to stay in my own lane. But I know I won’t grow if I don’t step outside my comfort zone.

I don’t always know what I want to do. I have to try new things before I can decide if it’s right for me.

I’m the type of person who has no problem seeking out new opportunities like applying for a job, internship, etc. But I don’t always follow through. Sometimes I have a valid reason. But other times I back down out of fear. Fear of failure. That I won’t be good enough.

I want to be more willing to try new things. I don’t want to let fear stop me from following through on opportunities that could change my life forever.

I should stop making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. After all, I won’t know whether I like something until I try it.

Oftentimes when I have to make a decision, I weigh the pros and cons. Unfortunately, it’s easier for me to think of disadvantages than advantages. Then again, there are positives I might not consider until I pursue something further.

It’s easy to play things safe. I might as well take a risk while I’m young though. I have very little to lose. If I find something isn’t right for me, that’s OK. If I fall in love with it, great. But I will never know unless I give myself a chance.

Writing

Would You Rather: Writing Edition

I’m bringing back would you rather for writers. You’re welcome.

Would you rather read your work aloud or have someone else read it?

Read my own work please and thank you. I don’t want to hear people reading my story. The thought alone is cringeworthy. That’s more of an indictment on me than anyone else.

Would you rather share your stories with complete strangers or best friends?

This is a tough one. I’ll say strangers. What does that say about me? What does that say about my friends and my relationship with them? Don’t get me wrong, I love the people in my life, but there’s something different about letting individuals you don’t know review your creations.

Would you rather write in hot climates or cold temperatures?

Cold. I’ll take wearing layers over sweating bullets any day of the year. Besides, I feel more comfortable freezing than I do burning. There’s a reason why I live in Canada and plan to stay.

Would you rather have a job writing for someone else or have a job not writing for anyone?

As much as I can see the benefits of having a job that had nothing to do with writing, I still want to write as much as I can…even if that means I’m doing so for others.

Would you rather write in many short bursts or a few long sessions?

I’m somewhere in between. But I personally enjoy many short sessions over lengthy ones. I like taking breaks. Who doesn’t?

What would you rather do?

Writing

Most Difficult Job 

Being a writer is tough. But being a mother is something else entirely. 

I don’t know about the latter. But maybe one day I will. 

I do know about the former however. Let me be the first to say, it isn’t easy.  

If you’re a mother and a writer, you deserve the whole world. After all you make the world go around. 

Here’s to all the wonderful mothers and writers out there. Today, tomorrow, forever. 

Thanks for doing your job. And doing it well. 

Personal Reflection

Hire Me

Hire MePlease.

Maybe I should have titled this post “Pay Me” instead.

Pay me, please.

Trying to find a job isn’t easy.

Especially when you’re picky like me.

Even more so when you have zero job experience.

And not much else to show for.

*cough* 

*cough*

*cough*

Is someone sick? 

Just sick of school. 

Writing

How You Know You Are A Writer

You talk.

You talk to yourself.

You talk to yourself in public.

You talk to yourself in public and not get caught.

You talk to yourself in public and get caught just once.

You talk to yourself in public even though people might think you’re weird.

You talk to yourself in public even though people might think you’re weird but who cares what anyone thinks. Your beautiful self should not be fretting over what someone says or thinks.

You write. You love it unconditionally.