Personal Reflection

You Don’t Have To Do Everything

I often need to remind myself that I don’t have to do everything. Besides, I only have 24 hours in a day like everyone else.

There’s only so much I can do. Too bad I’m super stubborn. Even during the school year, I still try to do what I did over the summer.

I’m doing my best, and that’s all I can do. I strive for balance. It’s tough though. But I like my lifestyle. I have what I need. Hopefully, I can sustain my way of life for a long time.

As much as I love the idea of daily habits, I can’t do all of them some days. Which is why I should prioritize. Depending on the circumstances, I might put one thing before another.

I also can’t wait to graduate. Most likely, I will find work afterwards. Maybe in the future, I’ll return to university, but as of right now, I’m ready to begin my career.

I’ve done a lot in school. I want to do a lot in the real world too.

I have no idea what I’ll be doing in a few months. Or where I’ll be for that matter.

One day, I hope to look back and think my hard work paid off. Until then I’ll tell myself I don’t have to do everything. It’s okay to focus on a few things at a time.

Writing

I Want To Write Full-Time

For the longest time, I imagined I’d have a regular 9-to-5 job, unrelated to writing while I wrote on the side during my own time. But these days I want to write full-time.

I’ve never considered myself to be a journalist. Despite some people seeing me as one, I don’t. I haven’t dabbled in journalism. I feel like I’m not that passionate about it. Even though I considered doing an undergraduate degree in journalism, I’m glad I didn’t. I love making up stories too much.

I’ve been thinking that instead of chasing a perfect career, I’d choose a preferred lifestyle. Rather than aiming to be an author, I should strive to create a life where I can write.

I need to be flexible and open-minded. Having an all or nothing mindset isn’t ideal. Besides if I never become an author, it’s not the end of the world. I’d be happy having a career that enables me to write.

I’ve also been thinking that a lot of people obsess over the highlights of a career, yet overlook the less glamorous aspects of a job.

Pursuing writing as a profession means dealing with criticism and rejection. Half the battle is being able to endure the bad.

All this to say, I still have no idea what I’ll be doing after I graduate. I just want to write.

Personal Reflection

Thinking About The Future

I can’t stop thinking about the future. More like worrying about the future.

I don’t feel ready for the real world. I have no idea what I’m doing now, much less what I’ll be doing after I graduate.

I thought everything would fall into place during my time in university. But the older I get, the less sure I am of anything.

I don’t intend to do more school. It doesn’t feel like the right path for me. I hope to work and write.

There’s a lot I want to do before I die. I’ll try to work full-time while pursuing my passions on the side.

Balancing everything is going to be tricky though. Ultimately, I need to decide what’s important to me.

I’ll make time, make sacrifices.

First things first, I should stop worrying and start working.

Even though money isn’t my biggest priority, it’d be nice to make enough to live a lifestyle I love.

Personal Reflection

Learning To Live My Life

I’m really bad at living my life.

At any given time, I have so many doubts and concerns. A lot of questions and reservations. That’s why some days I hold back. I play it safe.

I need to live. After all, I only get one life.

But it’s okay to take a break here and there. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact I can’t do everything every day.

I like my lifestyle. I like my life. It’s messy. At times, it’s downright ugly. Still, I’m happy and grateful right now.

I can’t imagine living a different life. I realize how lucky I am. I’m able to read, write, blog. I never want to take those things for granted.

Sometimes I think I’m the least understanding person when it comes to my own predicament. I don’t understand why I can’t read 50 pages every single day. I don’t understand why I can’t write 2,000 words all the time. I’m so hard on myself when I fall short.

I need to remember that life isn’t a destination. It’s a journey. Life isn’t about the numbers. It’s about the process.

Besides, I didn’t fall in love with my hobbies because of arbitrary numbers. I fell in love because they made me feel like I was floating on clouds.

At the end of the day, I want to enjoy the little things. So I will do my best to live my own life. I won’t live someone else’s.

Reading

Who Bought More Books?

I did.

When?

Just now.

Why?

Because reading is a lifestyle. Buying books is a way of life.

I refuse to change.

Why would I?

To think I used to feel bad about buying books.

Who was I?

It’s the best feeling in the world.

Can they just arrive already?

Writing

Halloween, NaNoWriMo, and Birthdays

I love this time of year. Halloween is tomorrow, NaNoWriMo is in two days, and most of my family members have birthdays in October, November, or December.

Which basically means a lot of candy, chocolate, chips, an insane amount of writing, and plenty of cake to go around.

Let my unhealthy lifestyle become even more unhealthy.

Writing

A Writer’s Expenses

For those curious souls…

A Writer's Expenses

This is not to say every writer spends their money this way. But the above is quite accurate when applied to me since I made this graph by myself on Microsoft Excel. I originally planned to do a pie chart but I found that creating the above was much easier.

Clothing: A writer can do without a closet full of clothes, shoes, and accessories. What can’t they do without? I mention this later.

Living: By living, I mean the things I want and desire but can survive without. Entertainment falls in this category.

Surviving: Surprised that my surviving expenses are so low? Well, excluding eating and writing, I don’t need much to survive.

Eating: A writer cannot function when starved or malnourished. Food is important.

Writing: But writing is more important. Which is why half my expenses go towards the purchasing of writing supplies (notebooks, books, pens, etc.) and more.

I don’t live an extremely expensive lifestyle…at least that’s what I have assumed for the past few years. Think of it this way, if you gave me a hundred dollars, here’s how I would spend it…

  • $50 for writing related supplies or materials
  • $25 for food and drinks
  • $15 for necessities
  • $7.50 for fun/recreation
  • $2.50 for a pair of socks