What I’d Tell My 20 Year Old Self

Be kind to everyone.

You don’t know what others are going through. They might be having a bad day.

You’re stronger than you think.

Give yourself more credit than you do.

Listen to the voice in your head.

Don’t confuse it for the voices of society.

Take care of your body.

You only have one.

The world isn’t fair.

Sometimes you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s life.

Love without shame.

Fall in love with people and things.

Learn to forgive.

You may never forget, but you can forgive. Do it for your own sake and sanity.

Confront your demons.

You have to face your fears. You can’t live the rest of your life scared to death.

Embrace failure and rejection.

You will learn more from screwing up than from success.

You aren’t always right.

It’s OK to be wrong.

You are not defined by your past.

Likewise, your past doesn’t dictate your future. Your present doesn’t either.

You will get better.

Your situation will improve. Nothing lasts forever. You may not feel fine right now, but one day you will.

How To Ask For Feedback And Apply It

I’m going to focus more on feedback for writers. But the following advice could be applicable in general as well.

Write down your worries.

In other words, what’s holding you back from asking and receiving help? Getting your fears on the page might make you realize you have nothing to be afraid of. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

Find someone you trust.

You’re more likely to apply someone’s remarks if you respect the person. Which isn’t to say you can’t approach a stranger for help. Do what works for you.

Ask.

The answer will always be no if you don’t. Imagine how much your work will benefit if you have someone look over your writing for mistakes. Or at the very least, places for improvement because you’re a perfect, flawless writer.

Set boundaries.

Let the other individual know what kind of feedback you want. That way, he or she can focus specifically on your flow, grammar, structure, etc. Better yet, you get the advice you want, and you won’t be blindsided by a curveball out of left field. I hope my baseball analogies and similes don’t bore you all to tears by the end of the year.

Listen.

Don’t be dismissive, especially if you solicited their suggestions in the first place. Hear them out at the very least. They might say something useful. They might not. But either way, you have nothing to lose.

Thank them.

For their time and feedback. After all, they didn’t have to provide you with comments or a critique for that story you’re working on. Unless you’re paying them to be your editor.

Don’t take anything personally.

Easier said than done, I know. But remember no one is attacking you as a person or your work either. Most people are just trying to help.

Use what works. 

You don’t have to use every suggestion.You’re more than welcome to, obviously. But ultimately it’s your story, and you’re the writer of it. Not your computer. Not your cat. Not your chicken.

That’s all my tired brain can come up with. I hope this post is useful or at least not entirely useless.

Good luck asking and applying feedback to make your work better. That’s the goal. I believe in you. Put your ego aside. Improve your writing abilities. I like to think life gets easier. But maybe nothing ever does. Either way, you have what it takes.

#BellLetsTalk

Let’s talk. And listen.

Let’s share. Let’s speak.

Let’s blog. Let’s write.

Let’s read. Let’s remember.

Let’s start a conversation today, continue it tomorrow, and keep one going together.

17 Things To Do In 2017

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1. Compose a poem that is 17 lines long.
2. Write 17 stories in one month.
3. Read a book published in 2017.
4. Read 17 books in 7 months.
5. Publish 17 blog posts for 17 consecutive days.
6. Learn how to say one word in 17 different languages.
7. Memorize 17 words in another language.
8. Listen to 17 new songs.
9. Watch 17 old movies.
10. Run for 17 minutes.
11. Dance for 17 minutes.
12. Try 17 foods you’ve never had before.
13. Eat healthy for 17 days in a row.
14. Develop a new habit in 17 days.
15. Smile at 17 strangers.
16. Meet 17 different people.
17. Connect with 17 friends and/or acquaintances.

Things Writers Do

Three things writers do more often than not:

Writers listen. 

Very well. Don’t be surprised when we remember what you said last week in the evening after dinner.

Writers study people.

No, we’re not stalking you. We have better things to do. 

Writers dream and daydream. 

Let us. And forgive us. 

Get More Exercise While Multitasking

Read while squatting.

Write while standing.

Talk while skipping.

Listen while stretching.

Or just get more exercise by actually exercising, Herminia, and not trying to cut corners. Just a suggestion.

Can you tell I’m really, really lazy?

Things To Do During Your Commute

• Read a collection of poems.
• Read a collection of short stories.
• Read a novel.
• Read the newspaper. 
• Listen to a podcast.
• Listen to a TED talk. 
• Listen to an audiobook.
• Listen to the radio.
• Write a poem.
• Write a short story.
• Write a blog post. 
• Write a to-do list.

Don’t Listen To Lies

Listen to your head.

Listen to your heart.

Listen to your body.

Your head lies. Your heart lies. But your body won’t. It’s straight and true when nothing else is. 

Your body knows best.