Personal Reflection

Feeling Like A Failure

The title says it all, doesn’t it?

I feel like a failure. And I’m doing my best to look on the bright side. I won’t get into all the details. I don’t want to bore you. I failed. I believe I shouldn’t have. But I did.

Knowing me that fire in my belly is burning even brighter now. I’m going to use this failure as a motivator to do better.

I think it’s easy to say I’m dumb or stupid. Right now those aren’t the words I want, much less need to hear. I’m not dumb or stupid. Failing doesn’t mean I’m useless, worthless.

We’re off to a great start to the school year already.

Don’t worry, I didn’t fail a test or anything. I just started school after all. You may be thinking how I failed on my first day back. It was a little bonus challenge. Nothing life changing, world ending.

I think if you know me well enough, you understand my definition of failure is different from everyone else’s.

I’m not sorry for holding myself to a higher standard. I have lofty goals because I know I can reach them. I intend to.

So enjoy following my journey as I fail and fail some more.

I’ll take this experience as an opportunity to learn. Besides humans are always learning. We should be anyway.

Sooner or later, I’ll have other failures on my mind. This one won’t be as important. When all is said and done, none of this will matter.

I’ve always taken failure hard. It’s probably a byproduct of how I’m wired, who I am.

I used to wonder whether it was worse to disappoint someone else or disappoint myself. I know the answer to that now.

I hate disappointing myself. Hate it more than a lot of things and people in this world.

I’ll take disappointing others over myself any day of the week. I can live with letting people down. My heart breaks when I let myself down.

Still, I rather fail and disappoint everyone in the entire universe than not try. I refuse to live with regrets. Wonder what if for the rest of my life.

I know trying and taking risks means opening myself up to failing. There will always be the possibility I fail in the worst way possible. But at least I tried, at least I know.

I may not be as fearless as I once was, but I’m not so afraid of failure that I won’t go after opportunities. Or make them myself for that matter.

 

Blogging

Blogging 201: Audit Your Brand

Today’s assignment:

Audit your brand — look at all the ways you communicate information about your blog to make sure they’re consistent and focused.

I figured I’d use this opportunity to promote my LinkedIn, which I started a few days ago. Connect with me if you have an account. And if you don’t, start one so we can connect.

Did you notice the subtle but not so subtle change I made?

It’s easier on the eyes.

I hope.

Writing

National Novel Writing Month Starts Tomorrow!

Halloween is great and all but NaNoWriMo is better.

This year I’m going in with a positive mentality like I do every year.

Because really what do I have to lose?

Nothing.

So whether I win or not, I still won’t be losing anything.

There is too much to gain. Besides, I’m not going to pass up an opportunity to write.

If you are still on the fence, join me. At the very least, you won’t be going through NaNo alone.

I am aware some of you lucky souls are already writing.

Anyhow, good luck everyone! Don’t forget to have fun.