School, Stress, And Stories

I’m a little stressed about school and life in general. Make that a lot. But when I look back on February, I’m proud of myself. Somehow, I survived. I even read and wrote every day during a short but insane month.

Recently, I’ve felt at peace while reading stories. Thank goodness books exist.

Because some days didn’t work out exactly the way I envisioned, I haven’t been as productive as I planned to be. Which explains why there’s a lot I need to do in March.

I bite off more than I can chew. Even though I don’t have to, I load my plate full.

Yes, I realize I have high expectations and a crazy imagination. Sometimes they work in tandem. Other times, I feel like my world is falling apart.

I’m doing my best. I know I say that all the time. I’m still a broken record. No surprise there.

Unfortunately, I feel like my best isn’t good enough, like I’ll never be enough.

But if I can get through this, I can get through anything.

Even though telling my story isn’t easy, I intend to stay strong. More than anything, I’d like to live on my own terms going forward.

Better Than Them | A Poem

Stares.

Beautiful?

No.

Fat. Strange. Ugly. Weird.

Everything in between.

Not pretty.

You’re never going to be enough for them.

Yet are you enough for yourself?

Hear it often,

start to believe lies,

That’s a part of life.

Can’t change everything,

but can change state of mind.

Seek peace,

find what’s right,

release the anger inside.

Let it go.

Leave it out.

You can do better,

they aren’t sorry.

You’re better than them,

always will be.

Making Mistakes And Moving On

To err is human, to forgive divine.

We all make mistakes. I made one that sticks out like a sore thumb. Fitting because my thumb made the error.

I’m trying to make peace with it and move on. Because life’s too short to get hung up over insignificant mistakes that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

I’m not perfect. I’ll never claim to be. But I do my best.

When I make a mistake, even if I’m only the one aware of it, I’m more motivated to work harder in order to compensate for my error.

I’m so hard on myself. I beat my mind up for messing up.

But I realize in a few months or days, a lot of mistakes won’t matter to me anymore. I’ll make many more in the days to follow. I’ll have other concerns and worries.

I’m old, so old. 20 years to be exact. I am still learning to move on.

Humans make mistakes. We tend to have good intentions, but the result isn’t always what we intended. That’s okay. Live and learn, right?

I will go to my grave believing everything in life happens for a reason. If it was meant to be, it will be. If it wasn’t meant to happen, it won’t.

Things work out. Sometimes even better than we could’ve expected.

For many reasons, I try to publish a blog post every day, which obviously increases my odds of making more mistakes. But I know if I don’t challenge myself, I won’t change. And I’m all for challenges. Even though changes aren’t always easy, I rather change for the better than never change at all.

Thank you to everyone who forgave me for my mistakes. Now to forgive myself.

Forgiving thy self. What do I know about that? I’m more forgiving of others for small human errors. But I can’t help but hold myself to near impossible standards.

I wonder how often people even notice my mistakes. Maybe I shouldn’t worry as much.

Mess up but learn and move on.

No Place

I am nothing anymore

Inside your heart without a soul

No place to be

No place to seek peace

I am no one anymore

Outside your heart without a soul

No place to go

No place to call home

What Gives Me Peace Of Mind?

I haven’t been sleeping well these past few nights. I think I know why.

Want to know the culprit? I haven’t been backing up my stuff properly.

All jokes aside, I love having copies of everything, everywhere.

Some of the ways I do this are listed below.

• A hard drive or on a USB (I have four)
• An online platform like Google Docs and Dropbox (I use both)
• On multiple devices such as a tablet, phone, etc. (it never hurts)
• Create a draft on WordPress and upload the image, video, whatever it is into the actual post (another reason why I love blogging)

How do you achieve peace of mind?