Personal Reflection

1 Year After I Was Hit By A Car

It’s been exactly one year since I got hit by a car.

On this day in 2018, I had class in the afternoon. I should’ve been home in the early evening. I didn’t get back until it was dark outside. Thankfully on February 6, 2019, I got home safe and sound.

I still think about all the things that happened. How the car slammed into my right leg, how I fell to the ground on my left elbow. Hearing the sirens grow louder. Riding to the hospital in the back of an ambulance. Waiting and more waiting. Having X-rays done. The paperwork and pain that followed. Every phone call to the police and insurance companies afterwards.

I doubt I’ll forget anytime soon. But I’ve come a long way. And despite all the setbacks, I’m so proud of myself.

I survived. I was able to walk away. I can walk and run and dance today. I hope I never take these blessings for granted.

I had some help along the way. I know no one else can possibly understand how I felt, not without experiencing everything I did. But I want to thank someone special. A small act of kindness made a big difference in my life.

Thank you for giving me hope when I needed it the most. Thank you for helping me more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for making me smile and laugh again. Thank you for pulling me out of hell. Thank you for the memories I’ll cherish forever. Thank you for everything.

This post has been incredibly difficult to write. I keep editing my thoughts before I even type them out.

More than anything, I hope one day I can tell the story I need to tell, and do it justice. After all, this isn’t someone else’s story. It’s my own.

Blogging

Blogger’s Block And Blogging Burnout

I didn’t post daily in January. I also didn’t even write a blog post every day. Even though I was a little bothered by that, I’ve been more bothered by other things. Like burnout and blogger’s block, which is like writer’s block but worse. I had an easier time writing than blogging last month.

New month, new me. That said, I won’t be blogging all the time because I need to live my life. But I’m ready to get back into the grind. It’s not always easy, but I’m grateful for every opportunity.

I want to address being blocked so to speak. I don’t want to wait for inspiration. I’d rather get to work. For some reason, I didn’t have many great ideas in January. Even promising ones didn’t pan out. For instance, I drafted a one-word writing interview/Q&A. I liked the idea. I didn’t like the draft. And because I made it my goal in 2019 to publish content I’m proud of, I don’t want to post something for the sake of posting.

In regards to burnout, I started this blog in 2013. At the time, I wanted to publish every day. I was in high school. I wasn’t as busy. So I had more time and energy. But a lot has changed in five, almost six years. I’ve changed. WordPress has changed. What didn’t change was my stubborn commitment to blog daily. But 2018 was a hard year for me. I got hit by a car at the beginning of the year. Recovering was a long and exhausting process.

I was fortunate enough to go twenty years without anything truly traumatic happening to me. So I guess my point is that trying to blog every day while trying to let my body and brain heal made me burnout in a way I never experienced before.

It’s been nearly a year since my life changed forever, and I’m ready to live fully again.

Personal Reflection

My Goals For 2019

Where do I even begin?

Read 40 books.

I’ve been able to for the past two years. Hopefully, 2019 isn’t an exception. On a similar note, I’ll try to post as many reviews as possible.

Write, edit, submit.

In a perfect world, I’d publish something somewhere. It’s out of my control though. Writing every day, editing my stories, submitting to contests…very much within my control.

Post content I’m proud of.

When I publish what I love, it makes me happy. I don’t want to be as hard on myself in 2019, yet my expectations are still high for this blog. More than anything, I can’t wait to create.

Learn more Spanish.

Fun fact, my name is Spanish. My dad speaks the language. I’ve been using Duolingo and doing two lessons every day.

Dance, exercise, stretch.

To be specific, I’d like to learn new moves, improve my core strength, and increase my flexibility.

Be nicer…to myself.

I’m my own worst critic. I guess I should also make an effort to be nicer to others as well.

What are your goals for 2019?

Blogging

Is My Blog Dead?

I’m trying to blog again after I didn’t post that much in December. I fell off my habits. But new year, new me, right?

I will be making a few changes, hopefully positive ones. I don’t plan to stop blogging, but I probably won’t post every day.

Near the end of 2018, I wasn’t at my best. I’m determined to make 2019 better. I have so many ideas in my mind that I hope to manifest in real life. I’m looking forward to the next 365 days.

Last year, I didn’t love my creative process, and in turn, I didn’t love some of the content I created. I’ll learn from my past mistakes. Now I have a better idea of what worked and what didn’t.

Going forward, I want to write and blog without overthinking every little thing. I think way too much, and sometimes my thoughts paralyze me from creating.

I started this blog out of the blue one random evening after school almost six years ago. I never looked back, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. I intend to continue posting book reviews and poems.

For now, I want to focus on enjoying the journey instead of always rushing. I love roses, so I will stop and smell them. Besides, there is no end goal or end game with my blog. I don’t have a specific destination in mind.

Thank you all for an amazing 2018. Thanks in advance for an awesome 2019.

All this to say, my blog isn’t dead. My blog will die when I die.

Personal Reflection

Looking At The Year Ahead

Today, I wrote my last exam for the fall semester. I can’t believe I only have one more semester of university left.

Classes start up again in January, and even though I’m excited, I feel nervous.

Exams finish in April. my graduation ceremony is in June.

After I graduate, I want to work and write.

I’m looking forward to what’s next. I feel like I’m already embarking on a new chapter in my life.

I don’t want to jump too far ahead because anything can happen between now and next year. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about post-grad.

As much as I love blogging, I might publish less in the future. I’ve been trying to post every day in December, but I’m not sure what 2019 will bring. It’s going to be a year full of change.

I don’t see myself going back to university, at least not anytime soon. So I will try to pursue my dreams and see where life takes me.

I have every intention to keep learning and improving even after I finish school and start work. My goal is to become a better human being with each passing day.

Blogging · Personal Reflection

Blogging Without Knowing What I Want To Blog About

Here’s a little bit about my blogging process.

Most of the time, I’ll write a first draft by hand. Then I transcribe them. I make graphics afterwards. Later I will edit the post. And last but not least I hit publish.

But this time around I wrote a draft, transcribed it, made a graphic, and then deleted the whole post. To be more specific, I created this graphic when I was trying to write a blog post but didn’t know what I wanted to say.

So now I’m writing an entire post on my phone from complete scratch. I almost never do that.

All that to say, don’t mind the not so relevant graphic or this more personal than usual post.

Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest.

I’ve been very anxious lately, especially over these past few days.

I feel a lot of emotions. I realize I don’t know everything. I don’t have answers to many things. Which is part of life. But it’s been hard to write or blog because I’m not even sure who I am.

I hate feeling like I’m not good enough. But right now I feel like I’m not enough, like I’ll never be good enough.

I don’t take failure well at all. I wish I did. But my fragile ego hates failing.

I think I feel like I fail because I’m not always on the same track at the same time as everybody else.

It took me a long time to learn that I don’t have to rush life. I can take my time. I am where I need to be. I’ll get where I want to go eventually.

I don’t have to get published by a certain age. I don’t have to get a boyfriend, get married, etc., by a certain time.

I wish I could say everything that’s in my brain more eloquently.

I’m allowed to go at my own pace. I’m also allowed to fail and mess up and make my mistakes. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m not good enough.

Blogging

How I Feel About Blogging Less

After a busy November where I didn’t post on this blog much, I’m trying to publish more in December.

I haven’t been writing a blog post every day however. I miss it, but taking a break has made me excited to create again.

When I write blog posts, I don’t ever aim for long, perfect first drafts. It’s enough to get some thoughts in my head on the page.

I also try to publish often, but I’m not aiming for mind-blowing, earth-shattering content. That’s never been my goal.

I know I’m behind with everything, but I still feel fine. And that’s all that matters to me.

I don’t enjoy falling behind because catching up is such a challenge. But I’ll manage somehow. I can’t do everything, but I can do enough to succeed. I hope.

Life happens.

When it comes to my habits, I’m not as stubborn as I used to be. Besides, the world won’t end if I miss a day or three of blogging. I can always get back into the grind at a later time.

This year, I’ve had a lot of high highs and low lows this year. Even so, I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. Check back with me once I write my exams and get my grades though.

As I get older, I feel busier. Then again, I think I’d rather be busy than bored. That way, I don’t have an existential crisis every other moment.

Blogging

Posting Content On Other Platforms

For the longest time now, I’ve been meaning to post content on other platforms. Even though I love WordPress, I’m always looking for different places to publish my writing.

Unfortunately, I’m lazy. I procrastinate all the time. Still, I want to make more of an effort to get my work out into the world.

I haven’t worked through all the logistics just yet. I have a WattPad account, and I want to put more of my creative writing on there.

I’m also testing out Medium to see if I like the platform. I most likely won’t create another blog, at least not right now. Perhaps in the future. I can barely keep up with this one though.

I need to let myself experiment and try out different platforms. Once I get things going, I’ll share more details.

More than anything, I hope to have fun and enjoy myself. Which for me means creating content I like.

Of course, I’m still growing and maturing. As the writer evolves, the work will as well.

When people ask me what I want to do, I almost always say I want to write. And that’s true. I do. I wish I could write without worrying about anything else.

I like to think this blog is my home base. Even though I’ll post content on other sites, I’m not going away. I’m just going to new places and meeting new faces. I feel excited to see where my journey takes me.