Personal Reflection

21 Things I Want To Change About Myself At 21 Years Old

  1. Procrastinating too much.
  2. Holding grudges.
  3. Making assumptions.
  4. Playing it safe.
  5. Stressing myself out.
  6. Overthinking things.
  7. Analyzing too much.
  8. Letting fear hold me back.
  9. Judging other people.
  10. Criticizing someone I hardly know.
  11. Being lazy and lethargic.
  12. Eating more than I should.
  13. Dividing my attention.
  14. Getting easily distracted.
  15. Abandoning creative projects.
  16. Forgetting what my friends tell me.
  17. Taking myself too seriously.
  18. Holding onto the past.
  19. Underestimating my abilities.
  20. Buying stuff I don’t need.
  21. Making small things a big deal.
Productivity

I Need To Stop Procrastinating Right Now

In a perfect world, I wouldn’t procrastinate. But I live in an imperfect world and I’m an imperfect human being.

I delay. I put things off. And when the deadline nears, my stress levels skyrocket.

Even though I’m someone who hates leaving things to the last minute, I don’t always start early enough.

At least when I procrastinate, I try to be somewhat productive. Instead of doing the thing I should, I’ll do something else like clean. It’s not as urgent as an essay due in three days, but I’ll still take cleaning over writing. Or editing. Don’t even get me started on edits.

I find it interesting how much better I’ve gotten at procrastinating over the years. I guess I’ve had a lot of practice. For some reason, I didn’t put things off as much in high school. Then I went to university and everything changed.

I procrastinate with blogging all the time. I can’t help it.

When I was younger, I used to be more of a morning person, so I procrastinated less.

Nowadays, I stay up later and do most of my creative writing later in the day, which means I procrastinate until I can’t.

Writing

My Novel Writing Process

I’ve written some novels in my lifetime. But whenever I undertake a new one, I’m not sure how I’ll make it to the end. This is a glimpse into my writing process.

Brainstorming

I’m a character-centric writer. Always have been, always will be. So I tend to come up with an interesting person and throw conflict at him or her as I go.

Outlining

Based on past experience, if I had to outline every novel for the rest of my life, I’d be on pace to never finish another one ever again. I sort of outline in my head. Depends on your definition of outlining though.

Writing

It isn’t too bad once I get past the beginning and middle.

Researching

I tend to research after I finish an initial draft where I brainstorm my own ideas first.

Waiting

I like to wait a long time in between writing the first draft and all that follows after.

Transcribing  

I handwrite most of my novels, so at some point, I have to type everything up onto the computer.

Critiquing

The one novel I sought feedback on was incomplete at the time, and it still is about six years after the fact. At least I like critiquing my own work. I’d much rather crush my own ego than have someone else do so.

Rewriting

I enjoy losing my sanity and seeing improvements at the same time.

Editing

Some stories don’t even get this far. What a shame.

Publishing

Obviously, I’m not at this stage yet. If my dreams come true, I don’t know how I’ll refrain myself from talking about my books.

Procrastinating

I procrastinate so much it’s a miracle I get anything done on time. Sadly, I put things off at all stages of the novel writing process. Nothing like consistency, am I right?

Reading

Even when I’m writing a novel and it’s a priority like during NaNoWriMo, I try to read as much as I can. Books inspire me. Other stories have inspired my own.

Celebrating

I celebrate the small victories as much or maybe even more than the big ones. I believe in rewarding myself. Otherwise, my motivation would be six feet under.

What’s your novel writing process like? I’d love to know.

Blogging

Why I Procrastinate With Blogging

I used to put off blogging more than I did studying. I still do, though I’m not currently in school. But I’ve gotten better at not procrastinating as much.

But here’s the million dollar question: why do I procrastinate? 

To which I ask why do you procrastinate?

So my goal is to publish a post every day. I know that’s not everyone’s goal, but it’s mine. Maybe I’ll write about that one day. Not today.

My final deadline then is 11:59 PM every night. That’s a lot of hours from when I wake up (around 8 AM) to when I need to hit publish or schedule.

If I’m doing my math right, I have about 15.

My brain believes I have plenty of hours to blog then.

I like to think I’m good at managing my time. Still, I don’t feel any urgency to blog at 9 in the morning because 11:59:59 PM is so far away.

All the time time I perceive I have is part of why I put off blogging until late at night.

Another reason: perfection. I like to think I’m not that big of a perfectionist, but I am very peculiar with my blog posts.

I want my posts to be perfect or close to it. Sometimes I edit a draft, hate it, and can’t bring myself to publish the post. I dread this outcome so much. It feels awful to work hard on a project but despise the result.

I’ve experienced this more times than I care to remember.

Knowing my first draft will be anything but perfect makes me put off writing one. Let’s be honest, I’m also lazy too.

It should go without saying but I’m going to say this anyway, blogging requires more energy and concentration than watching TV for example. 

I also procrastinate because after several years, I have a better idea of how long I actually need to write and publish a post. So if I think I only need twenty minutes to edit a piece, twenty minutes is how much time I give myself.

Of course, life happens. And as much as we believe we only need a few minutes to accomplish a task, we’re sometimes wrong and need way more time.

The planning fallacy exists for a reason. 

I hope I’ve made some sense. In my head, I know exactly what I mean, but I don’t know if anything made sense or if everything got lost in translation.

In summary, I procrastinate blogging because of time, perfectionism, laziness, and a brain that thinks I need two seconds to write, edit, and publish a post.

Blogging

Why I Don’t Always Hit Publish

I try to post every day, but I don’t hit publish if…

  • a post isn’t ready yet.
  • I’m not proud of what I’ve written.
  • the poem, story, etc., begs to be longer.

I have more reasons, but the above three are my main ones.

My excuses include:

  • I’m tired.
  • I’m lazy.
  • I’m uninspired.
  • I’m not motivated.
  • I’m horrible at managing my time.
  • I’m amazing at procrastinating all day and posting at night.

I’ll spare you the rest of my excuses.

Blogging isn’t easy. It never will be.

Reading

Procrastination At Its Finest

Me being me, I read about 75 pages I didn’t need to today, so I could put off doing urgent and more important work I should be doing.

I’ll probably regret procrastinating so much during reading week. (it might be called spring break or revision week depending on where you’re from.) I use the word “regret” loosely here. But, to be fair, I did read for fun and for school over reading week. A claim some students can’t make. At least not honestly.

Reading in order to procrastinate is an art. An art I’ve mastered.

Can you tell I also put off blogging for as long as I possibly can before I force myself to close the book I’m currently reading, even if I don’t particularly like the novel?

Writing

Six Essays In Six Weeks

I’ve been procrastinating on the six essays I need to write. Funny how it works out to one being due every week. Not to mention a quiz, an article analysis, a grammar test, a take home test, a final term test, and other assessments I’m probably forgetting thrown in for good measure. My brain only has the capacity to store so much information. Similarly, I only have so much creativity. Let’s not start with my sanity, okay?

It’s overwhelming. I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know what to work on first. I don’t know how I have that many writing assignments.

For me, starting is always the hardest part. The beginning is bad for my productivity. But once I start brainstorming and writing, I tend to procrastinate less. It’s getting over that initial phase where I realize I should start and actually starting which is tough.

Also, a few days ago, I thought I only had four essays. Then earlier today I counted five. But in writing this post I finally figured out I was wrong all along. I have six essays left and they’re all due within a six week span of time.

That’s knowledge I didn’t want to acquire.

Good luck to me.

Blogging

Make Me Look Beautiful

Can someone take a photo of me and edit it until I look beautiful? I know that’s a great feat, but I believe in you. It’s not impossible. It just isn’t easy to make me look pretty.

Please and thank you.

You’ll have my eternal gratitude.

I’m tired of my current picture, which is quite outdated by the way. I wanted to change it since last year.

Obviously I haven’t gotten around to doing so just yet. I welcome you to yell at me for procrastinating in the comments section.