Personal Reflection

Taking Some Time To Reflect

I want to take some time to reflect on this year. It wasn’t always easy. I had bad days. But I’m in a better place now.

I’m content. I’ve been fortunate enough to do what I love. I fought and still fight to protect my time.

I’ve experienced a lot of things I didn’t think I would. Some good, some bad. Some downright awful. But I’m still standing.

I went from going through the worst to the best period of my life. And I owe a lot of that to a very special person. Make no mistake, I’ll still single. But a complete stranger changed my life for the better.

Little by little, my perspective has expanded and evolved. I’m not perfect, but I don’t need to be. I’ve done so much, and I am ready to do more.

Even though I’m grateful for all the big events, I’m equally thankful for all the small tasks. I’ve been able to get back a lot of what I lost. There’s still a lot for me to live for.

I’m alive. I feel alive. My smile has reached my eyes, not just once or twice but countless times.

That said, recovery is a long road. In some ways, I’m still recovering. That’s okay. I’ve been able to share this journey with some incredible individuals. So thank you.

Personal Reflection

Reflecting On Being 19 Years Old And Turning 20

Nine year old me wanted to be an interior designer.

Nineteen year old me wants to be a professional writer.

Funny how much can change in ten years.

Over the course of my life, especially in the last decade or so, I've discovered new passions and dreamt different dreams.

I never thought I'd be where I am today. I'm beyond grateful. I feel lucky in many ways. But I also know better than anyone how hard I've worked.

I wanted to take some time to reflect on the last nineteen going on twenty years. You're all going to be sick and tired of my old age jokes and indirect references to my birthday. Maybe you already are. I'd say sorry, but I'm not.

I had a less than ideal August in 2016 to say the least. It was a tougher time for me mentally and emotionally. So I was nowhere near where I wanted to be. And I was nothing close to being who I wanted to be.

Even though I still have a long way to go, I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish during my 19th year on this earth.

I won't bore you with the details regarding my achievements. But I want to thank you all for helping me directly or indirectly, whether you know it or not.

I don't thank everyone often enough. Thanks a million times. Thank you so much for being you. I appreciate your support. It means the world to me.

You have inspired me in ways I never would've been. I will never stop reading your comments, messages, tweets, etc.

Around this time last year, I had no idea what to expect in 2017. I didn't know what the future held for me, for this blog.

Another year looms ahead. I can't predict what will happen next, but I'm excited for what's coming.

I like to believe the best is just around the corner.

I'm sure I'll make my share of mistakes in the next 12 months. Please feel free to correct me and my erroneous ways. Shove my mistakes in my face. I'm half kidding, half serious.

But I've grown up a ton. I can handle failure and mistakes better now than ever before.

I want to wish you the very best.

Cheers to growing together. I know there's so much we can learn from each other.

I never want to take any of this for granted.

After all, I had my share of highs and lows as a 19 year old.

But right now I'm grateful. Thank you again from the bottom of my dark heart and the depths of my big head.

You made my 19th that much more memorable.

It's been an incredible year. Here's to an even better one.

Hopefully, twenty year old me will be way smarter. A girl can hope.

Creative Writing

Pause and Reflect

Give me time

I demand

Hit the button

Freeze again

I need time to collect my thoughts

To get myself together

All composed with no doubts

For that I ask of one simple please

A plead if you must

Just give it to me

For now I pause

In the depths of despair

Time transcends all I know

It’s the experience that shows the gems

The brilliance radiates from the ideas

Filling up the well

Then I must pour it out

*

I run and walk

In the woods

In the halls

It gives me peace of mind

The water gushes from the fountain

I hear many sounds

Yet I hear nothing at all

I can smell the fire

Inside of me

No that doesn’t mean I am crazy

The light guides me through

The passage is too narrow

But I manage to make it through

I sit in a chair

Where I can reflect

On my past

While living in the present

I can discuss my future

Even though the comings are dreams

Dreams I have where all becomes clear

*

That is how I live

By having a pause

Once in a while

To quietly meditate

And lastly reflect

On all I have that is not vile