Personal Reflection

When You Have No Idea What You’re Doing

Sometimes I have no idea what I’m doing. I know I’m not alone in that regard. But I feel like everybody else knows what they’re doing, and I’m the only one who doesn’t have my life together.

I realize I don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. I shouldn’t rush myself just because someone is doing something I haven’t done yet.

I try my best not to force anything. Then again, I feel like an imposter when I’m being true to myself. Partly because in my eyes the real me isn’t good enough, which is so problematic.

I dislike pressure from other people. I don’t handle it well at all. I’ll be living my life, taking one step at a time and then it feels like someone shoves me from behind. Instead of going faster, I’ll slip or trip. I’ll fall flat on my face.

Rather than rising to the occasion, I crack under pressure. The facade fades away before my failures become exposed for all to see.

I don’t always know what I’m doing. Even when I do, I’m not very confident. Self-doubt and second-guessing will be the death of me.

I lack confidence in many areas of life. That said, I truly believe anyone can get better at anything with practice. Humans have the ability to grow and improve. That’s a beautiful thing We shouldn’t take for granted.

What’s more, everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses. It’s okay to be bad at certain things. It’s not the end of the world.

Besides, you can learn. You can turn what used to be a weakness into a strength. Or at the very least, you can strengthen your weaknesses.

I often try to remind myself that so long as I do my best, I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Writing

So You Think You Can Write A Novel

So you think you can write a novel, huh?

You can.

It’s not going to be easy. But it’s possible.

You can do it. I believe in you. Do you believe in yourself?

When the going gets tough, don’t give up.

Remember it’s worth it. Finishing the first draft of a novel might be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do in your life.

If you take on the creative challenge, you’ll be tested every step of the way. Exciting, no?

When you want to quit, remember why you started. When you’re ready to give up, know that you’re closer to the end than you realize.

Sometimes you’ll think there’s so much work left to do, so many words you still have to write. Don’t forget to look back. See how far you’ve come. How proud you’ll be if you cross that finish line.

If I can, you most certainly can.
We’re at that point in July—I fondly refer to it as Camp NaNoWriMo—where I doubt my ability to write a novel, despite having done so already. In fact, I’ve written my share of them in my short lifetime. I say this as I’m about to turn twenty in one month’s time. I’m old, people.

Self doubt is such a crippling feeling. It kills more dreams than anything else in the world if you ask me.

My dream is to publish a novel. I can’t exactly do that when I have the devil that is self doubt breathing down my neck while I’m trying to write. Hello, rude.

So if you think you can’t write a novel, I know how you feel. I felt that way. Sometimes I still do.

It also took me two years, maybe even longer to finish my first.

Short breaks turned into extended vacations. I’m sure you understand.

For anyone out there who’s confident they can write a novel, I like your confidence. Can I have some?

Writing can really kill your self-esteem. On the other hand, it’s boosted my confidence like nothing else.

I hope after reading this post, you’ll feel better about your own ability to write a novel. If not, don’t worry, I have no plans to quit my day job.

Perhaps you’re 222% confident in your novel writing ninja skills. In that case, why are you still reading? Don’t waste your time on this sorry excuse for a blog.

Can you tell I’m self-deprecating to a fault?

I digress. I do often. I trust future Herminia to edit my ramblings by cutting every other word. And then cutting every other remaining word. 

She clearly didn’t do her job. 

Swriously though, do you think you have what it takes to start and finish a novel?

If you didn’t answer I’m the affirmative, I want to smack some sense into your head. Of course you can. You’re a writer. A competent one, completely able to scratch across 50,000 words in a month. Or whatever your word count is. 100,000 words are for non-humans and monkeys. 

I can’t wait to see what you’ll create. I have a feeling you can’t either.

Personal Reflection

Love Yourself

Love yourself so no one else has to. Respect yourself so no one else needs to.

Treat yourself too.

I went from trying to sound profound and inspirational to well, that.

Don’t doubt thyself!

Now I’m sounding like a phony.

Writing

Self Doubt

Self doubt can kill you. Especially if you are a writer.