Personal Reflection

Trying To Trust The Process

There are so many things I want to do before I die. And it’s hard to be patient. But I’m trying to trust the process.

I think I overthink. No, I know I do. I make everything more complicated than it needs to be, which is exhausting.

I’ll do better. I will do my best.

I can’t be anyone else. I can only be myself. Sometimes I feel like an imposter. Who am I to write, to create?

I tend to elevate others and downplay my own abilities. So in my mind, everyone is better than me. On bad days, I wonder why even try if I’ll never be good enough? Why bother in the first place?

Life is too short. I used to be afraid of dying. But right now, I’m scared I’m not living up to my full potential. I need to face my own fears. It’s fine to fail. To be ignored or rejected.

I wish I didn’t take things too personally. I should grow a thicker layer of skin.

I don’t have any major regrets though. I wouldn’t change my choices. Still, I’ll continue to grow. I want to focus on improving myself.

It’s not always how you start but how you finish, right?

Personal Reflection

On Gaining And Losing Trust

I have trust issues.

If a person can’t keep their word, I find it hard to put my faith in them. So it’s hard for people to gain my trust but easy to lose it.

I get it. People make mistakes. We’re human after all. But I’m awful at forgiving others. For my own sake, I should.

I hate when people lie to my face or make a promise and break it. Then again, I’m a hypocrite. I wouldn’t want anyone to betray or backstab me, especially someone I trust.

As I get older, the circle of individuals I trust gets smaller and smaller. Which is fine with me honestly. It saves a lot of time.

I’m not an easy person to impress. I can’t even impress myself. It’s a blessing and a curse, let me tell you. I also get disappointed easily because I hold high expectations. Some days, I hold myself to a standard that drives me insane.

We can’t pick family, but at least we can pick friends.

I love fictional characters because they’ll never not be there for you. Maybe one day I’ll find a real human being I trust completely.

In short, I trust like two people.

Writing

How To Ask For Feedback And Apply It

I’m going to focus more on feedback for writers. But the following advice could be applicable in general as well.

Write down your worries.

In other words, what’s holding you back from asking and receiving help? Getting your fears on the page might make you realize you have nothing to be afraid of. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

Find someone you trust.

You’re more likely to apply someone’s remarks if you respect the person. Which isn’t to say you can’t approach a stranger for help. Do what works for you.

Ask.

The answer will always be no if you don’t. Imagine how much your work will benefit if you have someone look over your writing for mistakes. Or at the very least, places for improvement because you’re a perfect, flawless writer.

Set boundaries.

Let the other individual know what kind of feedback you want. That way, he or she can focus specifically on your flow, grammar, structure, etc. Better yet, you get the advice you want, and you won’t be blindsided by a curveball out of left field. I hope my baseball analogies and similes don’t bore you all to tears by the end of the year.

Listen.

Don’t be dismissive, especially if you solicited their suggestions in the first place. Hear them out at the very least. They might say something useful. They might not. But either way, you have nothing to lose.

Thank them.

For their time and feedback. After all, they didn’t have to provide you with comments or a critique for that story you’re working on. Unless you’re paying them to be your editor.

Don’t take anything personally.

Easier said than done, I know. But remember no one is attacking you as a person or your work either. Most people are just trying to help.

Use what works. 

You don’t have to use every suggestion.You’re more than welcome to, obviously. But ultimately it’s your story, and you’re the writer of it. Not your computer. Not your cat. Not your chicken.

That’s all my tired brain can come up with. I hope this post is useful or at least not entirely useless.

Good luck asking and applying feedback to make your work better. That’s the goal. I believe in you. Put your ego aside. Improve your writing abilities. I like to think life gets easier. But maybe nothing ever does. Either way, you have what it takes.

Creative Writing

Back To The Beginning

Never mind the lies I told

Or the stories I forged

To admire love starts with one thing

You can’t build upon a territory without trusting something

Can we go back to the beginning?

Where the leaves changed colour and the birds used to sing

Can we go there once again?

Personal Reflection

Weakness

I am sensitive to sound. Indeed I am. Don’t exploit my weakness. I trust that none of you will. Otherwise I will have no choice but to exploit yours.

Writing

Being A Writer Means…

You don’t have to rely on others.

It is hard to trust people who can’t keep a promise. You can’t rely on someone if they can blatantly lie to your face.

You don’t have to follow rules.

For once. You are free. You don’t have parents lecturing you or teachers limiting you so make the best out of it.

You don’t have to do something you don’t want to do. 

If you don’t want to write a teen romance novel then don’t. No one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to write something you don’t want to write.

You don’t have to conform to the norm.

Never write for a trend. Unless you want to travel down a one-way road to a town called Failure.

You don’t have to sell out. 

No self-respecting writer would ever betray who they are to get ahead.

Creative Writing

So Many Words

Do you realize how much I want to speak?

How I open my mouth but no words come out,

How I cry and scream yet no one hears a sound.

I could say many things but nothing would change anything.

*

I could sit there and take it,

Keep throwing your stones.

Even though you live in a glass house,

You don’t know me at all.

*

I want to fight back,

To shake you until I break you.

So you know how it feels,

To be like me, to be hurt this way.

*

When friends try to stab you in the face,

How funny I thought you were like a part of my family.

I guess people will never change,

Isn’t it amusing how I can see right through you now?

*

Take a good look at yourself,

Because you lost something today you will never get back.

I don’t care how hard you try,

You broke my trust and now there is no turning back.

*

Our friendship went out the window,

We will never be the same again.

You can make as many jokes as you want,

But will you be laughing when you see the consequences?

*

You cannot undo,

What you did.

You don’t feel the bruises,

Or the scars that line my heart.

*

I’ll watch you fade away in the background,

I won’t forget what you did to me.

How the words stung,

You don’t seem to regret anything.

*

So many little words,

So many tiny jokes,

That got too far,

And now here we are.

Personal Reflection · Writing

Rely On Yourself And Be Clear On What You Want, How You Want It, And Why You Want It

Writers need to learn to rely on themselves. Honestly, you can’t always trust anyone to do anything well. This is especially true when it comes to writing, editing, and such.

Above all, never assume that your instructions will be clear and concise for others to follow. You may have this idea or some incredible vision in your head. But do others see your vision as well as you see it? Can others imagine what you want? Sometimes executing your vision does not go as plan. Perhaps your instructions fell on deaf ears. Perhaps you weren’t clear enough to begin with. Perhaps you knew what you wanted but your “little army of workers” did not.

When you want something done, it is always best to do it yourself. But in some cases, you may have to trust others to help fulfill your vision for you.

Take editing for example. Would you hand your novel to some editor and trust that all their corrections are correct? Accurate? That what they say is right for your story? Would you allow them to make the changes for you without going over what they suggested? Of course not. But to make your life and your editor’s life easier, go in with a game plan. Tell them what your story is about, the direction you want to go with the characters, etc. Most importantly, tell them what you want them to look for. That way, when you get your novel back at least you editor has made changes that pertain to areas that you personally wanted to change anyway. Your editor won’t waste time correcting slang when your book was supposed to be filled with slang to emphasize that your characters are teenagers. Your editor won’t fix sentence fragments when one of your characters speak that way for effect. This way, you can ensure that they will make meaningful edits.

You may have a clear picture in your head but ask yourself if others do too. It will save you and everyone around you a whole lot of trouble in the long run. Just don’t assume people know everything and that they know what you want. So when you can’t rely on yourself, be clear on what you want, how you want it, and why you want it.