Personal Reflection

Fears, Doubts, And Uncertainties

Because almost nothing in life is a guarantee, there will always be some degree of uncertainty to it.

I’m at a point in life where I have doubts. I don’t know as much as I’d like to. I have more questions than answers.

I feel somewhat scared when I think about the future, especially imagining worst-case scenarios. What if nothing works out?

As I get older, there are more things I’m expected to do that I’ve never done before. Obligations and responsibilities galore. Being an adult isn’t so glamorous.

First time for everything, right? Oftentimes the first anything isn’t easy. First job. First love. First house.

Taking things one day at a time helps. Otherwise, I’d get overwhelmed thinking about my life thirty years from now.

After all, we only ever have right now. This very moment. The present.

Even though I joke about being old, I’m only twenty. I haven’t been around that long. I still have so much to experience. If anything, I’m just getting started.

When I was younger, I felt more confident in myself. I believed in my abilities. But right now, I’m not so sure.

I feel like I’m standing on uneven ground.

To be frank, I’m not where I want to be. Far from it. Hopefully, I’ll get where I want to go sooner rather than later. When the time is right, I’ll get to my destination.

I don’t feel ready or prepared at all for anything. But that’s okay. I’ll learn as fast as I can. I can always get better.

I can’t redo some firsts. But I can use those experiences the second time around, the third, so on and so forth.

Who cares if I fail the first time? Who cares if I don’t do well right away?

So what if I lose instead of win? So what if I get rejected 99 times out of 100?

If everything came easy, what would be the point of doing anything at all?

Writing this has given me some much needed perspective. I hope it helps anyone out there who needed to hear these words.

No matter what happens, you’re going to be okay.


What Bothers Me About The Writing Life

I was going to say I hate this part most about being a writer. But I don’t hate it. In fact, some days I enjoy it.

Sometimes, the uncertainty of being a writer bothers me.

Don’t get me wrong, the uncertainty is part of what makes being a writer fun. But every so often it’s scary not to know. To face the unknown.

In any given year, you could make $100. In another year, you might make $100,000. Also, you never know whether people are going to react positively to your work. Or negatively. And this weekend you may write ten sentences. You may write two hundred.You cannot know how many words you’re going to write today. Or tomorrow. What about twenty days from now? You don’t know. Until you actually write, of course.

Nothing in this industry is certain. Nothing (success, failure, you name it) is forever.

Writing is unlike other jobs where you at least have some sense of security, a sense of certainty.

As a writer you wake up every day not knowing anything.

You’re unsure. Your life is uncertain. The industry is unstable.

Yet you continue to throw yourself out there every single day, hoping for the best.