Personal Reflection

I Was Hit By A Car

I had the right of way while walking across the street. A car hit me on my right side, and I fell down on my left.

After spending about half an hour on the ground and about 30 minutes in an ambulance, I spent another 4 hours at the hospital.

Waiting so long gave me a lot of time to think. I even wondered whether I’d tell anyone about what happened.

I know I’ll remember this day for the rest of my life.

Everyone told me I’m okay. But I don’t feel okay. I don’t feel fine on the inside. My body hurts so much.

Still, I realize I’m lucky to be alive. I’m lucky to walk out of this with my life.

Wrong place, wrong time. Accidents happen.

I don’t want to be angry or bitter. I don’t want to cry any more than I already have. I do want to move on.

That being said, I feel scared. I’m terrified I won’t be the same. I have no idea how much this incident will affect me from now until the day I die.

I wish I could brush it all under the rug. Too bad I can’t.

February 6th, 2018 was the worst day of my life.

Personal Reflection

I Hate Being Bored

There’s something to be said for my hatred of boredom. I hate being bored. I’ll do just about anything if it means I’m doing something.

That explains why I also despise waiting. I try to do things while I’m waiting. Otherwise, I’d lose my mind.

But due to circumstances I didn’t see coming, I had to wait at the dentist for a while without anything to keep me occupied. I didn’t have pen or paper. I didn’t have a book. I didn’t have my phone.

So even though I felt a bit frustrated at first, I resorted to observing others.

I got to observe a father and son. Maybe a story will come out of it. Maybe not. I’ll have to add some kind of conflict or tension because the two were so happy. Meanwhile there was me being all bitter.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to handle parenthood, especially being a single mother. Although there wouldn’t be a dull moment in my life again if I had a kid to look after.

I kept thinking to myself why can’t I just sit and wait for a while? Because I don’t sit and wait ever.

I always feel like I should be doing something. I cannot not do anything. I feel weird and wrong doing nothing. I tried to relax. After all, there wasn’t much I could do. But to be honest I was anything but relaxed. I felt anxious. I felt I needed to be reading, writing, something.

Of course, I did a lot of thinking during the time. Part of me wishes I had a way of recording my thoughts then because I’ve forgotten them all now. I’d love to have some sort of technology to do that.

Of course, things worked out just fine. The world didn’t end. The sky didn’t fall.

Still, this isn’t an experience I’d like to repeat again. But it made me think about myself, about life in general.

Waiting at the dentist was almost as bad as watching paint dry.

Anyhow, this turned out to be one of the more interesting trips to the dentist I’ve had in a long time. That said, my last trip entailed running on about three hours of sleep right after an exam. That’s a story in and of itself.

Writing

5 Sins You Don’t Want To Commit As A Writer

As a writer, there are sins you want to avoid at all costs.

  1. Making excuses. You aren’t too busy. You have the time.
  2. Copying someone else. You are your own person. You don’t need to steal ideas from anyone else because your brain is perfectly capable of coming up with some yourself.
  3. Whining. All that time spent complaining can be better spent doing something productive.
  4. Disrespecting others. How hard is it to respect people?
  5. Not writing. Words won’t start writing themselves. Forget waiting until you’re motivated or inspired. Forget feeling ready. Just start.

You can do this! You’re a writer, remember?

Writing

Writing During The Holidays

Happy Christmas Eve. Happy Thursday. Happy writing.

Kudos to you if you’re planning to write during this busy time. If you aren’t then your family and friends should feel grateful that you’re actually spending time with them.

I’m kidding.

I hope you’ll continue to write during the holidays so I’m sharing my tips with you. Let it be known that I don’t follow my own advice.

  • Write in the morning. Or at night before you go to bed. If you don’t have time in the morning or at night currently, wake up earlier. Stay up a few minutes later. Get those words down before you go down.
  • Stick to a routine. At least try to establish one. Block off chunks of time you know you can get away from the real world. It’s difficult, life’s unpredictable, but having a routine increases your chances of having words written. And don’t we all want to have words written?
  •  Be wise by using time you’d waste otherwise. Waiting for guests to arrive? Write. Waiting for that turkey to roast? Write. Waiting for your significant other to text you back? Write.
  • Make writing fun. Make it enjoyable. You’ll be more likely to write a story you want to tell even if you have a million parties to attend. I won’t have that problem because I have no friends.
  • Give yourself a break. Balance is your best friend. When you’re not writing, don’t worry about writing. Relax, recover, and return later.

Happy Holidays!

Writing

8 Writer’s Pet Peeves

I have more than eight, but for the sake of time—yours and mine—I’ll just mention a few.

I may sound peeved when discussing my pet peeves, but I’m a pleasant person to be around after I’ve written. I promise.

  1. Phone calls when I’m writing. That’s Satan’s work right there.
  2. Waiting on people. If we agreed to meet at 10:30, don’t show up at 10:55. I could’ve written hundreds of words in that time.
  3. Not writing. More like not being able to write. There’s a reason I haven’t learned to drive yet.
  4. Pen marks on everything. I’m sorry, mom.
  5. Smudges. Possibly the bane of my existence.
  6. Inconsistencies. The world is better off without them.
  7. Bad pens. I’m picky. What more can I say? Using the wrong pen is dreadful.
  8. Non-writers. More like people who hate writing and love announcing their hatred to the world.

Tell me your biggest pet peeve so we can complain together.

Writing

Waiting Until The End

For the most part, I don’t tell people about my projects until they’re complete.

I’m worried about not finishing or finishing with less than satisfactory results.

So if I do finish and I happen to attain results I’m proud of, I can’t wait to tell somebody. Especially if I’ve been waiting a long time for the right moment.

Until then, I wait until the end.

It was easier to hold off telling people anything prior to starting this blog. These days I have the greatest urges to sit down and tell you everything.

Creative Writing

I Never Knew

I never knew how much it would hurt
To have to let you go
Give you space to get through
But waiting forever is impossible to do
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
 *
You changed in front of my eyes
Who are you?
I don’t know who you are anymore
We used to be different
We were great friends
No one could touch us
So where did we go wrong?
*
We had a bond
A friendship built on trust
So why did you throw it away?
Did you want to forget me?
I’ll never know the answers to these questions
Because every time I ask you never tell me
 *
Both of us had to go
In separate directions
Down different roads
I won’t forget you
I never will
Even though I never knew
Enough about you
Before the end came to say goodbye
Now time is up
At least we tried

A Road