1 Year After I Was Hit By A Car

It’s been exactly one year since I got hit by a car.

On this day in 2018, I had class in the afternoon. I should’ve been home in the early evening. I didn’t get back until it was dark outside. Thankfully on February 6, 2019, I got home safe and sound.

I still think about all the things that happened. How the car slammed into my right leg, how I fell to the ground on my left elbow. Hearing the sirens grow louder. Riding to the hospital in the back of an ambulance. Waiting and more waiting. Having X-rays done. The paperwork and pain that followed. Every phone call to the police and insurance companies afterwards.

I doubt I’ll forget anytime soon. But I’ve come a long way. And despite all the setbacks, I’m so proud of myself.

I survived. I was able to walk away. I can walk and run and dance today. I hope I never take these blessings for granted.

I had some help along the way. I know no one else can possibly understand how I felt, not without experiencing everything I did. But I want to thank someone special. A small act of kindness made a big difference in my life.

Thank you for giving me hope when I needed it the most. Thank you for helping me more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for making me smile and laugh again. Thank you for pulling me out of hell. Thank you for the memories I’ll cherish forever. Thank you for everything.

This post has been incredibly difficult to write. I keep editing my thoughts before I even type them out.

More than anything, I hope one day I can tell the story I need to tell, and do it justice. After all, this isn’t someone else’s story. It’s my own.

Why I’ve Stopped Blogging Every Day

It’s silly, but I feel like I don’t have as many hours in the day now.

I feel odd, out of sorts. I’m a stubborn person, so sacrificing my personal projects because of school sucks. If I could, I’d spend more time writing and blogging for myself.

This blog has benefitted me in so many ways. I’m happy I have something to call my own.

Whenever possible, I’ve tried to do what feels right by me, regardless of what others say. I’m doing the best I can.

I wish I could do everything every day, but like I said before, I can’t. And that’s okay. I’m trying to figure out who I am as a writer, a blogger. Who I want to be. While I don’t have all the answers, I know this much: I love creating.

In the past, I believed I had to do in order to learn. But sometimes not doing can teach a lot too. Besides, I go through phases where I prioritize different projects. So sometimes blogging takes a backseat.

It’s hard to put out content every single day. Kudos to those of you who do.

My Goals For 2019

Where do I even begin?

Read 40 books.

I’ve been able to for the past two years. Hopefully, 2019 isn’t an exception. On a similar note, I’ll try to post as many reviews as possible.

Write, edit, submit.

In a perfect world, I’d publish something somewhere. It’s out of my control though. Writing every day, editing my stories, submitting to contests…very much within my control.

Post content I’m proud of.

When I publish what I love, it makes me happy. I don’t want to be as hard on myself in 2019, yet my expectations are still high for this blog. More than anything, I can’t wait to create.

Learn more Spanish.

Fun fact, my name is Spanish. My dad speaks the language. I’ve been using Duolingo and doing two lessons every day.

Dance, exercise, stretch.

To be specific, I’d like to learn new moves, improve my core strength, and increase my flexibility.

Be nicer…to myself.

I’m my own worst critic. I guess I should also make an effort to be nicer to others as well.

What are your goals for 2019?

My Biggest Fear In Life

My biggest fear in life isn’t failure. It’s not trying.

I somehow convince myself that I’m not good enough. As a result, I don’t try sometimes.

It’s 2019, and I’m still just as hard on myself, if not even harder.

I have to try. I have to try my best.

I know I don’t handle failure well though. I’m working on it. I wish I could easily embrace mistakes.

I’m aware that by not trying, in a way I avoid failing. Still, I fail in a different way. I fail if I don’t try.

This year, I want to take risks I haven’t before. If I don’t try, I’ll never know. If I don’t ask, the answer will always be no.

When I was younger, I was more fearless, less afraid. Back then, I felt like I had less to lose. But I don’t have much to lose now either.

Ideally, I’d publish a book before I have kids. Now that I’ve put my intention out into the world, I hope to follow through. The first step is trying to tell the best story I can. I’ve given myself a somewhat flexible due date. Without a timeline of some kind, I could spend my whole life writing novels but never publishing them. At this point, I just need to start somewhere. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, starting is the hardest part.

Is My Blog Dead?

I’m trying to blog again after I didn’t post that much in December. I fell off my habits. But new year, new me, right?

I will be making a few changes, hopefully positive ones. I don’t plan to stop blogging, but I probably won’t post every day.

Near the end of 2018, I wasn’t at my best. I’m determined to make 2019 better. I have so many ideas in my mind that I hope to manifest in real life. I’m looking forward to the next 365 days.

Last year, I didn’t love my creative process, and in turn, I didn’t love some of the content I created. I’ll learn from my past mistakes. Now I have a better idea of what worked and what didn’t.

Going forward, I want to write and blog without overthinking every little thing. I think way too much, and sometimes my thoughts paralyze me from creating.

I started this blog out of the blue one random evening after school almost six years ago. I never looked back, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. I intend to continue posting book reviews and poems.

For now, I want to focus on enjoying the journey instead of always rushing. I love roses, so I will stop and smell them. Besides, there is no end goal or end game with my blog. I don’t have a specific destination in mind.

Thank you all for an amazing 2018. Thanks in advance for an awesome 2019.

All this to say, my blog isn’t dead. My blog will die when I die.

My Year In Review: 2018

I don’t even know where to begin. 2018 has been a year of high highs and low lows for me. But I’m happy to say I survived. I’ll see you all on the other side.

Here’s my 2018 in review.

January was great. I had a lot of motivation and inspiration. I started 2018 on a strong note. I began my second semester of third year. It feels so long ago now. I finished three books and reorganized my shelves. I submitted poems but never heard back.

February sucked. I was hit by a car. I spent the month resting and recovering. I read four novels. Fortunately, I felt good enough to attend my friend’s birthday party later in the month. It helped me get back on my feet.

March wasn’t easy, but I managed. I fell in love with baking. One day, I decided to download Duolingo and improve my Mandarin. I got through three books.

April was busy. I had finals. I found time to grab lunch with a friend I don’t see often afterwards. I started working as a digital marketing intern. I read three novels.

May went well. I worked all month. I hung out with some friends. I finished four books.

June wasn’t bad. I kept working. I changed the theme for my blog. I attended another birthday party. I finished three novels.

July felt short. I still worked. My cousin from China came over, so I spent more time with family. I read three books.

August felt even shorter. I attended an event for book bloggers. I finished three novels. I started driving again.

September signalled the arrival of school. My first semester of fourth year to be exact. I learned that my poem would be published in an anthology. I couldn’t believe it. Later I signed an author release form and approved the proof for print. I read four novels, rearranged my shelves. I continued to drive.

October was good. I won an academic scholarship. I had my midterms. I spent time with more relatives from China. I finished three books.

November stressed me out. Life. NaNoWriMo. School. I only managed to get through two novels. To be fair, one of them was fairly long. I drove.

December had its ups and downs. I finished classes and exams. I finally took my road test and got my G2 driver’s license. I finished 4 books too.

Thank you all for an amazing year. All the best in 2019!

Feeling Uninspired

Sometimes I feel uninspired to create.

I’ve been wondering whether I want to write and blog every day in 2019. Even though I enjoy both, it’s hard work.

I want to be excited about the creative process again. I’m not giving up. Right now, I just need a new start.

At first, I felt like I had to create every day. Nowadays, I still feel a bit beholden to my past self.

I’m in a bit of a rut. I know I should make some changes, but that’s easier said than done.

Going forward, I will try not to be so hard on myself. As much as I love creating, I also love doing other things.

I know I’ll regret what I didn’t do more than what I did. I owe it to myself to live my life. Even if that means I don’t blog every day or write as much as before.

In many ways, I’m still trying to figure out my place in this world. As a blogger. As a writer. As a human being.

Getting Into The Zone

I love getting into the zone and losing track of time. It was easier when I had less on my plate. Unfortunately, like everyone else the older I get, the more obligations I have.

Being so immersed in another world that the real one falls away is an incredible feeling. I tend to come out of those sessions feeling energized, even if I just spent the past two hours writing.

Of course, getting into the zone is tougher than simply sitting down in a chair. It requires you to start, which is often the hardest part.

Losing track of time because you’re so caught up in your w.ork can happen when you least expect it to. Sometimes a little pressure courtesy of a deadline helps as well.

Personally, I make a schedule and set aside some time for creative work every day. I don’t always get into the zone. When I do, I don’t always expect to stay in the zone for too long. Then again, when things are going well, I don’t want to stop. I want to keep going until I can’t.