I strongly believe there are stupid questions in this world. The idea that “there are no stupid questions” is a load of…actually, I rather not finish that statement. Complete my thought if you so choose to.
Despite popular belief, there are also ignorant people who ask even more ignorant questions. If you, the almighty writer, is ever in one of these situations, I hope I can assist you. Offering help and humour, aspiringwriter22 presents the first ever post on “How To Respond To Stupid Questions” and if I feel generous enough, I may just post another one. So stick around.
Herminia Chow’s words of wisdom: whenever you are asked a stupid question, answer with a smart response.
What do you do for a living?
Clearly, not the same thing you do.
Do you have plans this weekend?
Yes, and they probably don’t involve you.
Oh, so you actually read books?
This question does not deserve a response. However, I do give you permission to smack the person who asks that with a book.
Wait, you like reading?
This deserves even less of a response. Permission granted to smack them three times with a book of your choosing.
Uh…so you write?
Nope, I build atomic bombs.
Let’s break this down, shall we?
- What do you do for a living?
Every writer in the history of writers know this question is out of the question. So if you ever utter these seven words all together to a writer—God forbid you ever will—be prepared to face whatever the writer wants you to face.
- Do you have plans this weekend?
Said nobody ever? Fine. Said no writer ever. Mind you I am exaggerating.
- Oh, so you read?
I would leave the room if anyone asked me that. For blatantly obvious reasons.
- Wait, you like reading?
Is this what the world has come to? Finding someone my age who enjoys and likes reading in 2014 is a rare occurrence. So rare that if you like reading, I automatically like you a lot more.
- Uh…you write?
This is a good way to kill the conversation. See you later. Hopefully never.
No harm or insult intended. This is all in good fun.