Writing

How To Respond To Stupid Questions (For Writers)

I strongly believe there are stupid questions in this world. The idea that “there are no stupid questions” is a load of…actually, I rather not finish that statement. Complete my thought if you so choose to.

Despite popular belief, there are also ignorant people who ask even more ignorant questions. If you, the almighty writer, is ever in one of these situations, I hope I can assist you. Offering help and humour, aspiringwriter22 presents the first ever post on “How To Respond To Stupid Questions” and if I feel generous enough, I may just post another one. So stick around.

Herminia Chow’s words of wisdom: whenever you are asked a stupid question, answer with a smart response.

What do you do for a living? 

Clearly, not the same thing you do.

Do you have plans this weekend?

Yes, and they probably don’t involve you.

Oh, so you actually read books?

This question does not deserve a response. However, I do give you permission to smack the person who asks that with a book.

Wait, you like reading?

This deserves even less of a response. Permission granted to smack them three times with a book of your choosing.

Uh…so you write?

Nope, I build atomic bombs.

Let’s break this down, shall we?

  1. What do you do for a living?
    Every writer in the history of writers know this question is out of the question. So if you ever utter these seven words all together to a writer—God forbid you ever will—be prepared to face whatever the writer wants you to face.
  2. Do you have plans this weekend?
    Said nobody ever? Fine. Said no writer ever. Mind you I am exaggerating.
  3. Oh, so you read?
    I would leave the room if anyone asked me that. For blatantly obvious reasons.
  4. Wait, you like reading?
    Is this what the world has come to? Finding someone my age who enjoys and likes reading in 2014 is a rare occurrence. So rare that if you like reading, I automatically like you a lot more.
  5. Uh…you write?
    This is a good way to kill the conversation. See you later. Hopefully never.
No harm or insult intended. This is all in good fun.

34 thoughts on “How To Respond To Stupid Questions (For Writers)

  1. People give me strange looks when I tell them I write. They always say, “Write what?” I always tell them, “I write letters to make words.” When they finally understand that I write fiction they get excited and say, “I want to read it when you’re done!” or my personal favorite, “I want a signed copy when you’re rich and famous! Don’t forget me!”

    You gotta love people…

    Like

    1. I love your reply. It’s hilarious. Non-writers just don’t get it. As for the “I want a signed copy when you’re rich and famous! Don’t forget me!”…if anyone ever said that to me, I’d do way worse things than simply forget them. 🙂

      At least these people make your life interesting albeit a bit annoying.

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      1. It is annoying, but that’s what happens when you don’t write. They don’t understand the process and hard-work just like we most likely don’t understand how difficult their job is, whatever it may be. The difference is that we don’t pretend to know. 😉

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      2. True. I hate when people assume they know what it’s like to be a writer when they aren’t one. Worse, I hate when non-writers tell me how to do my job.

        Thank God writers understand each other. 😉

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      3. Writers need each other! 🙂

        I remember when I was in middle school I told my friend I wanted to be a writer and/or a teacher and she immediately responded saying, “Be a writer. They make more money.”

        Uh…not necessarily…lol.

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      4. We do.

        That’s absurd. Nowadays I feel the people around me think teaching is a much better job than writing, pay-wise. Like you said that’s not necessarily the case. There are so many misconceptions about writing and writers. It’s disappointing.

        Like

      5. I know what you mean. All my life I thought I was the weird one. Thankfully I discovered people like me through this blog. It’s good to know I’m not the weird one. Thank you for making me understand that. 😀

        Like

  2. Hehe! You crack me up! I’d love to smack people across the noggin with a few books… or the 300 page manuscript that took me years to finish while I was in school pursuing a degree so that I could support my writing fetish. I’ve been the recipient of some looks of bewilderment, confusion, and outright scorn over being a writer. But I just internally create a character based on them and then kill them off. Aaahhhhhh…. sweet release. 😉

    Like

    1. Mmm thank you. I didn’t think I was all that funny. I’m with you with the book smacking. It’ll be the next writer/blogger tradition. I can sense your rage and frustration. Although I wouldn’t advise smacking people with your manuscript. You probably love it too much to potentially risk ruining it. Regardless, whatever method works for you to release your emotions is perfectly normal. May I add it’s also perfectly acceptable? 😀

      Like

      1. You may!
        And you’re right. I’ll wait until my book comes out in print. When there are more of them available, I won’t feel as bad about losing one that sacrificed itself for the good of writers everywhere.
        I have a tendency to repress my rage everywhere but here and in my writing. It needs an outlet somewhere, right?

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      2. Yes. I think that’s a wonderful idea. Wait until you’re successful, famous, and rich then you can avenge all the wrong in the world. Starting first with all the injustices/annoyances you’ve faced from others. I’m sure there are plenty.

        I’d hate to see your book sacrificed without being read first. Also I want to honor it in some way considering the tragic circumstances.

        You’re right. And you’ve picked the right outlets with the best people to help you through it.

        Like

      1. A comment can really change someone’s day. I hope you know yours did. Way to flip my mood around. Bless your heart. I definitely will. Don’t you dare quit and leave me without your great company. 🙂

        Like

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