My Year In Review: 2018

I don’t even know where to begin. 2018 has been a year of high highs and low lows for me. But I’m happy to say I survived. I’ll see you all on the other side.

Here’s my 2018 in review.

January was great. I had a lot of motivation and inspiration. I started 2018 on a strong note. I began my second semester of third year. It feels so long ago now. I finished three books and reorganized my shelves. I submitted poems but never heard back.

February sucked. I was hit by a car. I spent the month resting and recovering. I read four novels. Fortunately, I felt good enough to attend my friend’s birthday party later in the month. It helped me get back on my feet.

March wasn’t easy, but I managed. I fell in love with baking. One day, I decided to download Duolingo and improve my Mandarin. I got through three books.

April was busy. I had finals. I found time to grab lunch with a friend I don’t see often afterwards. I started working as a digital marketing intern. I read three novels.

May went well. I worked all month. I hung out with some friends. I finished four books.

June wasn’t bad. I kept working. I changed the theme for my blog. I attended another birthday party. I finished three novels.

July felt short. I still worked. My cousin from China came over, so I spent more time with family. I read three books.

August felt even shorter. I attended an event for book bloggers. I finished three novels. I started driving again.

September signalled the arrival of school. My first semester of fourth year to be exact. I learned that my poem would be published in an anthology. I couldn’t believe it. Later I signed an author release form and approved the proof for print. I read four novels, rearranged my shelves. I continued to drive.

October was good. I won an academic scholarship. I had my midterms. I spent time with more relatives from China. I finished three books.

November stressed me out. Life. NaNoWriMo. School. I only managed to get through two novels. To be fair, one of them was fairly long. I drove.

December had its ups and downs. I finished classes and exams. I finally took my road test and got my G2 driver’s license. I finished 4 books too.

Thank you all for an amazing year. All the best in 2019!

Feeling Uninspired

Sometimes I feel uninspired to create.

I’ve been wondering whether I want to write and blog every day in 2019. Even though I enjoy both, it’s hard work.

I want to be excited about the creative process again. I’m not giving up. Right now, I just need a new start.

At first, I felt like I had to create every day. Nowadays, I still feel a bit beholden to my past self.

I’m in a bit of a rut. I know I should make some changes, but that’s easier said than done.

Going forward, I will try not to be so hard on myself. As much as I love creating, I also love doing other things.

I know I’ll regret what I didn’t do more than what I did. I owe it to myself to live my life. Even if that means I don’t blog every day or write as much as before.

In many ways, I’m still trying to figure out my place in this world. As a blogger. As a writer. As a human being.

Getting Into The Zone

I love getting into the zone and losing track of time. It was easier when I had less on my plate. Unfortunately, like everyone else the older I get, the more obligations I have.

Being so immersed in another world that the real one falls away is an incredible feeling. I tend to come out of those sessions feeling energized, even if I just spent the past two hours writing.

Of course, getting into the zone is tougher than simply sitting down in a chair. It requires you to start, which is often the hardest part.

Losing track of time because you’re so caught up in your w.ork can happen when you least expect it to. Sometimes a little pressure courtesy of a deadline helps as well.

Personally, I make a schedule and set aside some time for creative work every day. I don’t always get into the zone. When I do, I don’t always expect to stay in the zone for too long. Then again, when things are going well, I don’t want to stop. I want to keep going until I can’t.

To Tweet Or Not To Tweet

As a writer, I feel I should like Twitter. Of all the platforms, Twitter seems the most suited for writers.

I’ve just never been much of a social media user. I don’t always know what to say or share, especially online. Sometimes I think about sharing something but then stop myself for some reason.

In a way, tweeting is similar to blogging. I guess I’d rather spend more time writing or reading.

Also, there aren’t enough hours in the day to be everywhere and to do everything.

Perhaps I need to tweet about something unrelated to me. I’m not one to share personal details about myself in real life or on social media.

I’m better at writing than I am at posting. I have no problem drafting a tweet. But sending it out into the world is a different story.

It’s not easy to create content on a consistent basis. It’s even harder when these days almost anyone can criticize you.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get into Twitter. Don’t get me started on Instagram. I suck at social media. Big surprise, I know. So kudos to everyone who doesn’t.

Some days, I wonder if I was born in the wrong era. I need a time machine. Take me back to the days before social media existed.

When Writing Hurts More Than It Helps

Writing is hard. On one hand, it helps. On the other, writing hurts. It’s therapeutic at times. But some days when I pick up a pen, I return to a difficult past.

On bad writing days, I wonder why I’m wasting my time. On better ones, I tell myself there is nothing else I’d rather be doing.

Over the summer, I actually took a break from creative writing. I thought it was much needed.

I fell in love with writing because it allowed me to reclaim my happiness. Then again, writing can be painful too.

I recall the past when I write, only to realize it’s gone. I don’t have yesterday anymore. I only have today.

For better or worse, I will write. I’m never going to let anyone stop me.

Writing gives me the chance to start again. I have to make a conscious effort to start anew. Easier said than done but it must be done. Even if I spend the rest of my life trying, at least I can die knowing that I tried. I made an effort. I didn’t quit, give up. I won’t take the easy way out. That’s not fair to myself. Easy isn’t always better.

How Writers Deal With Haters

• Put them in a story and kill their character.
• Subtweet him or her.
• Publish a viral blog post.
• Reaffirm how right you are as well as how wrong they are in your mind.
• Roll your eyes like a YA character.
• Walk away and write a bestseller instead.
• Fall so in love with fictional characters you forget about your real life haters.
• Silently correct their speech or grammar errors.
• Build a fort using books to keep people out.
• Realize having haters means you’re doing something right.

Why I’m Not Going Back To School

I feel like I’ve done everything I wanted to achieve in school. I just need to graduate university in 2019, which I’m on track to do.

I’ve already declared my intent to graduate, and that fact is finally starting to sink in.

After I graduate next year, I plan to work. I will work hard.

I have all these ideas and plans, dreams and goals. I can’t wait to make them happen.

I love telling stories, so I hope I never stop.

I know my career is just getting started, so I have plenty of time. Still, I want to do everything right now.

Looking back, I’ve come a long way. Once upon a time, I entered the public school system not knowing a word of English. Then I went on to win an English award at my elementary school graduation. I even won writing scholarships in university as well.

I’ve accomplished a lot in academia, and I’m proud of my achievements. But I’m ready to move on to the next chapter of my life.

I’ve Always Seen Myself As A Writer

Growing up, I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write. I loved creative writing. I still do.

Over the years, I’ve seen my work change before my eyes. I’ve come so far. Of course, there’s so much further for me to go.

No matter what I do or don’t do in the years to come, I’ll still make writing a priority. I have no reason to rush the creative process. I can stop and smell the roses. I should enjoy this seemingly endless rollercoaster ride. I have to appreciate the highs as well as the lows.

I don’t know much. I do know that when I don’t write, I don’t feel right.

I wonder what kind of writing I’ll pursue further. Creative or professional? Something in between? Something else entirely? We’ll see.

I don’t want to regret not taking a risk, so I have to try at the very least. I don’t want to ask what if for the rest of my life.

I wish I could do everything, but I can’t. I just try to prioritize writing when possible. I don’t mind sacrificing other things. I’m even fine studying less if that means writing more. I suppose I’ve always seen myself as a writer.